


You'll find a god in every golden cloister

by PrimalScream



Category: Black Sails
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Anal Sex, Angst, Breathplay, Dildos, Edgeplay, Face-Fucking, Flogging, Light BDSM, Light cock and ball torture, M/M, Nipple Clamps, Oral Sex, Pining, Spanking, dom!flint
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-13
Updated: 2017-04-13
Packaged: 2018-09-29 19:59:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 33,240
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10142828
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PrimalScream/pseuds/PrimalScream
Summary: James runs a multi-billion dollar architectural firm with John at his side as his assistant in everything from day to day operation to making sure James goes home at a reasonable hour.James's attraction to John pushes him back into a lifestyle he hasn't participated in for years, imagine his surprise when he finds John at his old dungeon.





	1. I can feel an angel sliding up to me

**Author's Note:**

> Just a few things: I don't do hardcore Dom/sub play, it's not my bag, so if that's what you're looking for you won't find it here. 
> 
> This is complete. I'll be posting a chapter a week. I'm going to aim for the same day every week, but I can't guarantee it because we are still doing the final edits on each chapter, so it may not always be Monday.
> 
> I started this, geez, probably almost 8 months or so ago, maybe a year, in little bits and bobs, long before the Silver in chains pic appeared and I will admit, that it gave me the inspiration to finally get my shit together and finish it. 
> 
> My eternal love and gratitude goes to @thewalruscaptain. Rachel, there are no words to describe how much I adore you and everything you do for me, I couldn't do this without you. Thank you for listening to my ranting and raving and stupid notes. Your editing is magical and you're always right. Your patience is truly astounding. Thank you for pushing me when I need it and slapping my hand when I need that too.

James downs a glass of water in thirty seconds as he waits for the next interview. He and Stacey have spent the last four days interviewing candidates to replace her after she retires. He looks over the resume in front of him for a last refresher, it's the most impressive one of the bunch, John Silver.

John’s resume is short but his experience is extensive, and the glowing recommendation letters from the board members of a Fortune 500 company sure as hell don't hurt. John’s spent fifteen years at Pace Industries, the largest aerodynamics firm in the country, as the right hand to Karen Pace herself. It was well known that Karen was retiring and turning over the day to day operation of the business to a new CEO of her choosing, thereby placing John in the unemployment line.

James had just taken his seat again when the door opens. Getting to his feet he extends his hand, smiling as he looks up to greet John. John’s wearing a perfectly tailored Armani suit and shoes polished to a high sheen. His hair is pulled back in a low ponytail at the back of his neck and the light stubble does absolutely nothing to detract from how stunning he is. James feels his breath catch and he’s held in place by the clearest blue eyes he’s ever seen. When John’s hand slides into his, awareness races down James’s spine and simmers under his skin. John’s hand is warm and dry, the handshake firm. There are red flags going up in James’s subconscious that he’s refusing to acknowledge. 

When John pulls his hand back, James stands stock still as he watches John interact with Stacey. John smiles at her and the curve of his mouth makes heat coil in James’s groin. He’s aware he’s staring and there is nothing he can do about it. Stacey comes around to his side of the conference table and nudges James with her elbow. When he startles, their eyes meet and she raises a single brow, nodding to the chair behind him. James waits for Stacey to sit and then drops down gracelessly, immediately reaching for the pitcher of water in the middle of the table. 

This cannot be happening. He cannot be attracted to the most qualified candidate they have. Stacey is set to leave in five weeks. They’ve interviewed twenty five people already, saving John for last. After the first perusal of his resume both Stacey and James had decided that if the interview went well, he’d most likely be offered the job within a matter of days. 

James feels himself break out in a cold sweat as he watches John over the rim of his glass. He’s aware John is speaking, but the words are passing him by and he panics. He feels Stacey kick him under the table and when she turns to him, her eyes tell him to get his shit together. 

James snaps his head to John again, “You’ll have to forgive me, I lost a second there.” He hopes his smile comes across as something other than the grimace he fears it looks like. 

John’s lip twitches before he says, “Even though I know it’s been a number of years, I just wanted to express my condolences for the loss of your father.”

James sobers immediately. It seems as if John’s done his research. “Thank you. I’d like to think he’d be proud of what Flint Group has become.”

“I’d have a hard time believing otherwise. The outreach programs alone are enviable. If I remember correctly your father built the entire firm from the ground up straight out of college. You can’t talk about hospital design in this state or nearly any other without your name coming up.”

James is impressed. While the other candidates had been knowledgeable about Flint Group, John had taken it to the next level. Researching not only the company itself but James’s father. It was just one more tick in the win column for John.

After a short pause, Stacey begins firing off the questions she’s asked each candidate. James tunes out slightly as he studies John. He watches the way John gesticulates; his hands are strong, fingers blunt, nails short and tidy. Despite John’s seemingly sedentary lifestyle, James can just make out calluses on several of his fingers, and he wonders what John does in his spare time. He only barely stops himself from imagining what they’d feel like against his skin. His eyes move up to John’s shoulders; only slightly more narrow than his own, they’re perfectly square. 

Stacey nudges him once again and before he can control himself he hisses at her, “What?”

She smiles at John and then turns to James, her face a mask of annoyance as her eyes cut briefly to John’s side of the table. She shoves the legal pad in front of her towards James and points at the underlined _Do you have any questions about Flint Group?_ written towards the end of the page. It’s James who is supposed to ask, but he’d been too far in his head to realize it was at that point in the interview. He feels himself flush, and when he looks to John, James can see him repressing a smile.

“So, John, do you have any questions for us?”

“What software do you use to manage the charity aspects of the day to day operation?”

He and Stacey look at each other blankly, “I...don’t think we have one?”

John scribbles a note onto the pad in front of him before looking up again. James tries in vain to read it but it’s upside down and John’s handwriting is atrocious. At least now James knows he’s not entirely perfect. 

John asks several more questions, all of which he and Stacey know the answers to this time, before the interview comes to a close. James get the same zing of electricity at their parting handshake that he had with the first one. 

As soon as John and Stacey leave the room, James loosens his tie and slumps back into the chair. When his eyes close he’s assaulted with images of John’s smile and the crinkles by his eyes. He’d been completely taken with John’s obvious intelligence during the interview.

Stacey comes back and flops into the chair beside his, kicks her shoes off and puts her feet up in the chair next to her. “We have successfully found my replacement. He’s even better in person than on paper and that’s a rarity.”

“What do you think about Margaret? She seemed qualified.” James puts in halfheartedly.

“You are joking, correct? She’s seventy if she’s a day and there is absolutely no chance she could keep up with you. We’ve already discussed this, if the interview went well, we’d hire John.” James feels himself frown. He knows she’s right, they’d already decided. He just isn’t sure it’s a good idea given his inappropriate fascination. 

“James, what’s going on here?” He refuses to look at her, a blush creeping its way over his cheeks. He hears her sharp intake of breath. “Jesus Christ, I don’t believe it. You’re attracted to him. I should have known. The bizarre way you spaced out.”

James doesn’t even bother trying to deny it. “Do you think he noticed?” 

“No, unlike you he’s a professional,” Stacey sighs at him. “You’re going to have to get over it. John is the single most qualified candidate we have, we’ve interviewed an immense number of people and no one else is going to be able to handle you or this company. If you hire someone else you will regret it.”

James spends three days thinking about it but in the end he knows Stacey is right. Before he’d laid eyes on John he’d been prepared to offer him the job on the spot based solely on his qualifications. It was time for James to suck it up and do what was right for the good of Flint Group. John will be a good fit, James knows it and it isn’t John’s fault that James’s overactive imagination had run wild. Nor should he suffer for it.

Later that evening he makes the call. John is thrilled. They negotiate salary, ten thousand more than James had originally intended but worth every penny. Before the end of the call John had told James to be prepared to find a proposal for new software on his desk on John’s first day. 

James ends the call certain of two things. One, that he was truly and utterly screwed. Two, that John would be the best thing that had ever happened to him and the company as a whole.

***  
John starts three weeks later and the first two weeks of John’s employment go by in a blur. John spends his time shadowing Stacey, taking so many notes James fears he’s going to run out notebook before he runs out of notes.

John hadn’t been joking when he’d told James that he was going to bring him a proposal for a new software program. James was impressed. It came with user reviews, a portal to try it, along with the cost of implementation and the cost savings of having information immediately available versus having to wait several hours, or possibly days, to collect the same information on paper. After several days of his own research, James had handed it over and told Stacey to show John how to pay for it. 

Every day John came in with a wide smile, impeccably dressed and with such a genuinely pleasant attitude that James hoped it would remain once Stacey was gone. James watched him ask question after question, each one insightful, some of them surprising even Stacey in his quest to know everything there was about Flint Group and its dealings. 

James had expected John to leave each evening frazzled and much worse for wear, but the only sign of John’s nerves were the loosened tie and the several stray strands of hair that would escape his hair tie. He left each day with the same smile and enthusiasm he’d come in with.

At the end of John’s first week, Stacey sat across from James, notebook in her hand and said, “I could leave tomorrow and he’d manage just fine. He’s smart and quick. Everyone loves him. He’s going to be a great fit.” James only nodded his head. 

The closer Stacey’s departure date loomed, the more maudlin James became. Stacey had been his father’s assistant and when he’d taken over the company her help and friendship had been invaluable to him. She’d almost become a surrogate mother making sure that James was taking care of himself. 

“He may be a good fit, but he won’t be you.”

Stacey smiles at him, eyes just slightly misty, “Your father would be incredibly proud of what you’ve done here. I hope you know that. The things you’ve accomplished in six short years are nearly miraculous.” She pauses and holds James’s gaze, “I need you to do something for me, James.”

James sat forward in his chair, “Of course, anything.”

“I want you to get out of this office on occasion. I adored your father, and he was the best man I’d ever worked for, but he had no life outside of this building. I know this was his passion, but I saw the loneliness on him, the same way I’m beginning to see it on you. Find someone, something, other than these four walls.”

James sees the concern in her face, the hope for him that he’ll have more, “I’ll try.”

“That’s all I ask.” She stands and is halfway to the door before she turns back looking over her shoulder, “By the way, John’s single.”

James rolls his eyes, “Go home.” 

Her only response is to grin at him.

***  
On Wednesday of Stacey’s last week she turns everything over to John and it’s her turn to shadow him for her last three days. John’s efficient and sharp, James can actually see his mind working over each problem that pops up. His solutions differ from what Stacey would have done, but they’re just as effective and thoughtful. James can find no fault with his performance. 

John's only fault, though not of his own making, is how easy on the eyes as he is. James wishes he were slightly less attractive. He manages to lose himself only once. During lunch on Thursday James can’t take his eyes off of the way John’s throat moves as he tips his glass up. John’s neck is smooth and his adam’s apple bobs with each swallow. James thinks about what he’d taste like, what he’d sound like if James sunk his teeth in, if he sucked hard at the pulse point. He wonders if John’s knees would go weak, if he’d slump against James, head tilted, silently asking for more.

Stacey’s heel on his instep slams him back to the present. John’s eyes as they watch him are speculative. James has to look away to keep from giving himself away completely. 

That evening James waits until Stacey is gone to call John into his office to talk about the plans for Stacey’s retirement party on Saturday. It’s a surprise that James had begun planning with Stacey’s husband and daughter and had brought John into as soon as he’d started. The party is being held in the back room of a supper club that Stacey’s husband, Don, belongs to so that Stacey won’t be suspicious when they arrive for dinner. 

As soon as John sits down in front of James’s desk, he undoes his tie and opens the top two buttons on his shirt. James has to avert his eyes to keep from staring at the smooth expanse of skin on display. He clears his throat and asks, “What’s the final RSVP.”

John flips open the notebook he’s holding, “Three fifty even. Everyone from here, except Jack in accounting, his daughter has her first show that night. The rest are various friends and family members. I told the caterers to be ready for three seventy five, just in case.”

“Good idea. Don called earlier and said her sister Janice was flying in early tomorrow and said he wouldn’t be able to get her. He asked if we could send a car because she doesn’t drive.”

He watches John bow his head to make a note, “I’ll call Danny when we’re done here to make sure someone is there. I’ll just need the flight details.”

James hands over a slip of paper, and when John takes it his fingers slide over James’s. It takes everything he has not to pull his hand back like he’d been burned. He can feel the touch all the way up his arm. John says nothing as a small smile plays at the corners of his mouth. They spend another half an hour going over small details. James wants everything to be perfect. 

They both close up for the night and as they’re getting in the elevator John reaches back and pulls the tie from his hair. James can’t look away as John finger combs the loose curls. He gets the slightest hint of jasmine as John fluffs his hair. There’s a crease where the hair had been tied but it does nothing to take away from the beauty of it. James wonders what it would feel like. If it would be as soft as it looks or if it’s coarse. His fingers twitch, the instinct to touch so strong he has to close his eyes. When they reach the bottom floor, John smiles and waves goodbye, turning in the opposite direction. With John’s suit coat now draped over his arm, James has a perfect view of John’s ass as he walks away and it is truly spectacular. Round and high, and James would bet he could probably bounce a quarter off of it. He has to bite his lip to keep from groaning out loud. 

He needs to get laid, and fast.

***  
On Saturday, John and James meet in the parking lot of Baywood an hour before the guests are set to arrive. They go over every detail with the caterer and check each table’s name placards to makes sure the seating is correct. James, John, Don, Stacey, their children Nicole and Michael, along with Stacey’s sister Janice and Don’s brother Kevin will all be at the head table. 

John spends the rest of the time making small tweaks to the centerpieces. By the time 5:45 rolls around they're both dressed and polished, waiting at the door to begin greeting guests. Everyone has been told to arrive no later than 6:30.

Stacey’s sister Janice arrives early to help introduce the family members that James doesn’t already know. At 6:45, John takes the microphone and tells everyone to find their seats; Stacey and Don have just arrived. James and John again take up a space by the door.

As soon as Don opens the door Stacey’s eyes widen and her hand goes to her mouth, her eyes immediately finding James’s. There are tears standing in her eyes when she grabs him and pulls him in for a hug before slapping him on the arm for going to so much trouble. 

There’s a cocktail hour which Stacey spends making the rounds, introducing John to everyone who doesn’t already know him. James watches them with mixed emotions. He’s happy to know that she’s going to be living part of a dream retiring with her husband, but he’s incredibly sad to lose her from his life. 

When the lights dim indicating dinner, John takes his seat next to James and he has to do a double take. John’s cheeks are pink, his smile is wide, and James wants to tumble him to floor; drag him under the table and do filthy things to him. Instead he gulps down half a glass of wine as their salad plates are placed in front of them.

James eats without tasting a single thing. John is jovial and engaging, the entire table is quickly falling in love with him and James honestly can’t blame them. As an Air Force retiree, Don has a lot to talk about with John regarding aerospace and even when they disagree, Don admits he can see John’s point. 

By the time dessert is cleared away the lights are lowering and the DJ is starting. They’d asked for a good mix of 60s, 70s, and 80s music that would hopefully accommodate almost everyone in the room who chose to stay for the post dinner party. 

The DJ starts with Sister Sledge’s _We Are Family_ and Stacey bounces in her seat. When Don tells her that she’s on her own, John holds his hand out and leads her to the dance floor. For the next twenty minutes, James’s gaze never leaves John. He dances like he was born for it. No awkward shuffling moves, no weird arm gestures, just his hips and his feet moving in perfect time. His hair is coming loose from it’s tie and falling around his face, he’s already lost his suit jacket, and his tie is barely hanging on. He’s the most beautiful thing James has ever seen.

When John and Stacey finally make it back to the table, John slips the tie through his collar and tosses it on the table before opening three buttons on his shirt. There’s a fine layer sweat covering his neck and chest and James wants to taste it. His face is flushed from the dancing and the drinks, eyes bright as they watch James watch him. 

James clears his throat, “You look like you know what you’re doing out there.”

John downs a half glass of wine before speaking, “I took lessons. Karen was always being invited to dinners and parties and she always wanted me to go with her. I couldn’t dance, so I took lessons. Practically everything but ballet.”

James says nothing, just stares at the red stain of wine on his lips as John continues, “You’re going to miss her?”

James looks over to where Stacey and Don are holding court across the room and smiles, “Quite a bit actually. She worked for my father before me and there’s a good chance I’d have run this company into the ground if it hadn’t been for her.” James remembers vividly her gentle suggestions about investments she thought were suspect and the careful way she’d guided him to better ideas.

“I hope I’m not too big of a disappointment.” John’s smile is sharp and James is struck by the desire to taste John’s mouth, to feel the sting of John’s teeth. 

“I’m not worried, I trust that you’ll do just fine. It’s just sentimentality with Stacey. She was here during my summers when I was in high school. It’s going to be odd walking onto our floor and not seeing her in the office next to mine.”

“I’m surprised she’s retiring this early. Even with Don’s job in Naples.” John pours them both another glass of wine from the bottle on the table.

James turns his chair to face John and then leans back, posture loose, the atmosphere and the drink making him warm and comfortable. His leg falls against John’s and neither of them move. 

“They never needed her salary. It was mostly what Stacey used to call put away money. Don was a career officer, his salary along with the stipend for housing made them more than comfortable. Stacey only worked because she was bored staying home once the kids were in school.”

John nods as he watches James over the rim of his glass. John’s pupils are wide, his mouth wet. James wants to slide his thumb over John’s bottom lip, dip inside his mouth, and press on his tongue just to see what John would do. John pulls the tie from his hair, tosses it onto the table next to his discarded wine glass and then leans forward, sliding both hands onto James’s thighs.

“You should dance with me.”

James feels himself flush, the alcohol mixed with the tone of John’s voice and the feel of John’s hands has him swallowing hard, forcing out the appropriate response. “I don’t dance.”

“I didn’t ask if you did." John murmurs lowly as he leans further forward. He catches James's eyes, "What I said was you should.” His fingers squeeze where they’re resting on James’s thighs.

James says nothing, bites his tongue and just looks at John. John blinks and immediately removes his hands. “I’m sorry, I’ve had too much to drink and sometimes my mouth runs away with itself.”

James doesn’t respond as John gets up, his fingers brush James’s shoulder as he walks away.

James is on dangerous ground and he’s fully aware of what happens if he doesn't proceed very carefully. His eyes follow John out to the dance floor where he’s pulled into a group of admins from finance. 

The later it’s gotten, the more suggestive the songs from the DJ have become. John is sandwiched between Connie and Diane, body rocking to _Push It._ When they turn John’s eyes find his. The look John gives him is full of heat; his hips roll, his hands lift his hair off his neck as his eyes slide closed, head going back as the girls lead him around.

James gets up and makes the rounds of the room. He doesn’t stand still for more than a few minutes. He won't admit that he’s hiding from John, but he’s hiding from John. He doesn't know if John’s behavior is just a symptom of the alcohol or if it's something more, but either way, James needs to back himself down. Interoffice romances never end well, and this one would have the potential to ruin James. 

He stays only long enough to walk Stacey and Don to their car and without a backward glance he calls for his own car, letting the cold October air sober him up.


	2. I can feel the devil walking next to me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is where the story starts earning its explicit rating.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rachel, as always THANK YOU. You're amazing.

For the next two weeks James is on edge, distracted, and snappish, which in turn has John walking on eggshells. They have been so awkward with one another that James finally has to have a stern talk with himself. On the second Friday after Stacey’s party he asks John into his office at the end of the day. 

When John shows up, he's mildly surprised to see that James had set out two glasses and a bottle of scotch. “I honestly thought you’d asked me in here to fire me.” John must read the confusion on him. “Stacey’s party, I...well I’d like to apologize. I had more to drink than I should have and I acted inappropriately.”

There’s a slightly pink tinge to the tops of John’s ears. James waves him to a chair, “Forgotten. I’d like to apologize, as well. I’ve been an ass. Losing Stacey was harder than I’d anticipated.” James says as he offers John a glass with two fingers of Glenfiddich. He can see the tension drop from John’s shoulders as he smiles wide. 

Shrugging off his jacket and loosening his tie, John plants himself in the chair in front of James’s desk in a lazy sprawl, body open and inviting. James’s gaze sweeps the length of him during John’s first drink, eyes lingering on the way John’s pants pull tight against his wide spread thighs. 

James could see himself between John’s legs so easily. He’d stand in front of him, take the glass from his hand and then drop to the floor. His mouth practically waters at the idea of sucking John’s cock. He wonders if John would docilely take what James gave him or if he’d let himself go and fuck James’s throat. He wonders if John is quiet in his pleasure or if he’s decadent and loud, giving himself over completely.

With effort, James pulls himself back to reality and downs his first drink in one swallow. He needs to get a hold of himself. He resolutely refuses to look anywhere but John’s eyes as conversation starts to flow freely. 

“In doing my due diligence before our interview, I couldn’t help but notice you were on your way to partner at Bishop and Kane. I can't believe you didn’t go back.”

James isn’t surprised that John had put the time into finding out more about the company, but he is a bit surprised he’d bothered researching James himself. The look John gives him is interested, curious and completely genuine. It’s not just John making small talk with the boss, it’s John wanting to know James, wanting to know James’s motivations. James finds himself wanting to open up to John, wanting to form that connection with him, despite the warning bells going off in his brain.

“My mother walked out on us when I was three, all I’ve ever known is this company. My father brought me to work every day with him. Once I started school, he’d drop me off in the morning and send a car for me in the afternoon that would bring me right back here. Who I am _is_ this company.” James sighs and swirls the liquid in the bottom of his glass before tossing it back.

“I miss him every single day. He’s the reason I went into architecture. When I left B&K to settle dad’s affairs, Jackson, my boss, told me I’d always have a place there. I had every intention of going back.” James’s father is never far from his thoughts but talking about him with John makes the pain of his loss flare inside James’s chest. With a soft sigh he continues, “I figured I could put someone from the board in charge here to hire a new CEO and things would be fine.” James motions for John’s glass and he refills both before starting again.

“I didn’t count on the nostalgia or the feelings of pride every time someone introduced me as his son and then told me a story about him. As much as I loved B&K, I knew if I ever wanted to earn the kind of reverence my father had, I’d have to do it here. I spent weeks going through dad’s files, looking at plans, reading notes on what he wanted to accomplish, I couldn’t give up on all of that, so I stayed.”

John raises his glass, “And look at the things you’ve done.”

“Not at first,” James laughs. “The first six months were a fucking nightmare. I could have bankrupted us twenty times over if not for Stacey and the help of the Board of Directors. I had zero business experience. I could design anything, but I couldn’t tell a good business decision from a bad one. I went back to school, evenings and weekends, took seminars, anything that would help. I finally got my feet under me and here we are.” James spreads his arms and smiles. John salutes him with his glass and the conversation turns to lighter subjects.

They spend hours talking about their various outside interests. Music, books, movies, strange collections they each hold. James learned that John collected baseball bobbleheads, that John was definitely gay and indeed single, as Stacey had been so happy to inform him, and that he was a beer snob. James in turn told John that he mostly dated men, when he had time to date at all, and that he collected shot glasses. Expensive ones, cheap ones, didn’t matter, he had an entire cabinet filled with them. 

By the time they leave the office it’s past ten and neither of them had eaten yet. James suggests the micro brewery around the corner, telling John that they have the best burgers for miles. Another three hours and James is putting John in a cab, all the awkwardness of before gone. Knowing that John regretted his actions at the party stung James’s pride, but he also knew it was for the best. 

The following Monday began a new chapter for them. John could anticipate what James needed before he knew himself and they began working in tandem so symbiotically that it was if John had been there from the beginning. It made James’s life easier and harder at the same time. Their working relationship was effortless and their personal friendship continued to grow. But with that, so grew James’s attraction.

The more he learned about John, the more he watched the way he worked, the more James wanted him. He’d never seen someone able to calm an angry site manager or county official the way John could. People who’d come to John frowning always left with a smile and a grateful handshake. No one could finess donors quite the way he could either—several of their six figure endowments were down solely to John and his charm. The way his mind worked fascinated James; he was quick, witty, and calculating when it was called for. To say James was impressed was an understatement.

Before long they were comfortable enough with each other that all the formality of employer/employee boundaries were gone. James found himself telling John things that he’d normally never share with another employee. He began discussing other employees _with_ John, something he’d never done with Stacey. The lines were blurring for him and instead of putting John firmly back into the employee column, he pulled him closer by knocking the wall between their offices down so that he and John could sit in the same room and share space.

On the day they merged offices, he suddenly realized what a mistake he’d made. John turned up on the designated Saturday in a pair of tight black jeans and a faded _U of I_ shirt so old it was almost see through. His hair was free, the curls tempting James to touch, and a pair of aviators were perched on his nose. 

He had two cups of coffee and John’s eyes, when he pushed the glasses up, were bleary and still sleep heavy as he blinked slowly at James. James could still see the trace of a pillow crease on his cheek. It made James want to take him by the hand and shuttle him right back to bed, undress him slowly, kissing each inch of skin he bared before covering John’s body with his and showing him a much more satisfying way to spend a Saturday. James wanted to kiss him so badly it was all he could think of for several long seconds until John pushes the cup into his hand bringing James back to the present.

James spent the entire day fighting a hard on as he was treated to the spectacular view of John’s ass every time he bent over. He had to bite his tongue when John picked up boxes and furniture causing his biceps to bulge with the strain. His eyes trailed a stray drop of sweat that worked its way down John’s neck before disappearing into his shirt only to be caught out by John who gave him a sly half smile.

At midday after a small lunch, John had stopped to put his hair up and James had nearly needed to excuse himself. The bare nape of John’s neck was flushed from heat and exertion; the soft wispy hair that wasn’t long enough to be put up was damp with sweat and hanging in ringlets. He watched as John’s fingers stroked gently across the top knob of his spine as he swept his hair up and James felt the primal urge to sink his teeth into the back of John’s neck, to make him submit, to take and have and own. James had needed to turn away from the sight completely to calm his racing heart. 

At the end of the day John had invited him for a beer but James had begged off citing another engagement. In reality he went home and jerked off repeatedly to the images of John in his head. It only got worse for him from there.

Now that they shared an office, John spent even more time in his space, sometimes so close that James would swear he could actually taste John’s cologne. Gone where the phone calls to go over documents, or finalize a schedule. Now his days were filled with John leaning over him as he pointed out key items or issues, their arms brushing, sitting next to each other at James’s desk with John’s knee against his, John’s hand on his shoulder, and on the rare occasion, his hand on James’s thigh. James spent more time with his cock in his hand now than he had when he was a teenager.

There were occasional days when he’d catch John looking at him in a way that threatened to send a shiver down James’s spine, but James chose to ignore it, brushing it aside. Day by day James’s frustration mounted. The daydreams and the wet dreams and everything in between were slowly driving him to the brink of insanity. It was creating a tension that John was eventually going to notice and James knew he needed a solution. 

Three weeks after they started sharing an office James had told John that he needed to block out Wednesdays from seven PM on. John hadn’t asked why, and James hadn’t offered. John’s presence in his life, James’s almost unbearable attraction to him, had James falling back into something he hadn’t done in years, an outlet to work out his frustrations, sexual and otherwise. He’d gone back to his old dungeon. 

Visiting _Game On_ every Wednesday allowed James to work side by side with John day in and day out without letting the constant simmering arousal get the best of him. It kept him in check, kept him from making a mistake he’d regret. Losing John from Flint Group because James couldn’t manage to keep his cock in his pants would be something he doesn’t know if he’d be able to get past and he sure as hell wouldn’t be able to explain it to the board. For almost four years James finds relief in the bodies of strangers, works out his need and desperation on willing participants. Until one evening in June when it all falls apart. 

***  
When Wednesday finally rolls around that week, James is more than ready to head to the club at seven. He’s spent the already long week negotiating the buyout of a small construction firm, and the tension he’s holding in his shoulders is causing pain all the way down to his lower back. In addition, now that the summer months are in full swing, John’s taken to rolling his long sleeves up to his elbows. James is being assaulted with views of John’s perfect ass and beautifully bronzed and muscled forearms on an hourly basis. It’s starting to take it’s toll. 

He accesses the club through the private locker room entrance and immediately moves into one of the private dressing rooms—premium membership does have its privileges. He changes into a pair of tight fitting leather pants and black boots, forgoing a shirt since the temperature in the club is elevated. He saves the mask for last. Pulling it down over his head, it completely covers his face with the exception of openings for his mouth, nose, and eyes. He fucking hates it. Hates how constrictive it is, hates how hot it is, but now that his face is splashed across every newspaper more days than not, he needs the anonymity. The mask is a small price to pay for the relief he gets from these weekly visits.

He makes several rounds of the bottom floor before a gorgeously rounded ass draws his attention. The man is standing at the bar, back to James, one leg propped on the bottom rail as he takes his drink from the bartender. 

James feels his cock start to fill just looking at the generous swell encased in tight leather shorts. James’s eyes trail slowly down the man’s legs. They’re nicely muscled and covered in a layer of dark hair. As his eyes move back up, they trace the pretty arch of the other man’s spine to a head of dark and curly hair falling just below his shoulder blades in soft waves. His shoulders are broad and square. Unblemished skin glowing in the ambient light tapers to a narrow waist that make James’s palms itch with the need to touch. 

With a smile at finding a target so early in the evening he makes his way toward the bar only to stop dead when the man turns around. Of all the places he thought he’d ever find John, this wasn’t one of them. He tries to turn back but he’s caught by John’s eyes. They sweep down James’s body and the interest James sees has his feet moving forward against his will. The slim black leather collar sitting low on John’s neck has James smothering a groan.

John moves to meet him halfway, walking slow, a sway in his hips that’s not usually part of his normal gait. James wants to drop to his knees and lick along that sharp cut of flesh and bone. When they come to a stop in front of one another, John holds his palm out and in the middle of his hand is a small leather leash. James has to close his eyes briefly before he takes the leash and hooks it to John’s collar. 

This is the stupidest idea he’s ever had. He should have politely declined and found someone else. But James knows that even if he had, he’d never have been able to concentrate knowing John was here, knowing that there was someone other than him touching John’s body. It wouldn’t have been fair to anyone else James would have paired off with because they wouldn’t have had his full attention. James know that’s a sure fire way to hurt someone unintentionally, emotionally and physically.

James runs his thumb gently along the skin just above the collar. John sighs and leans into the touch as his eyes flutter closed and James feels an answering pull in his cock. He slides his hand around to the back of John’s neck and pulls him in. John tilts his head up, eyes still closed. James’s mouth hovers over John’s for several long seconds until John’s eyes blink open. John looks to James’s lips and pushes up but James pulls back just before they connect. James waits and then he hears it, “Please.” It's no more than a puff of air against his mouth.

James smiles and opens John’s mouth with his tongue. He slides inside, tasting the whiskey John had been drinking, then licks across John’s teeth, strokes his palate before nipping at his bottom lip. John moans, swaying into him and James pulls John’s body flush to his. He can feel John’s half hard cock pressing against his hip. His fingers tighten in John’s hair and John whimpers, the sound shooting a line of electricity straight to his cock.

When he pulls back, John’s eyes are heavy lidded and glazed. “How much have you had to drink?” James drops his voice an octave and affects a soft southern twang to disguise his voice. It’s loud enough in the club that those small measures should be completely effective. 

“Just the one.” James nods, satisfied that all of John’s decisions are his alone and not fueled by alcohol. 

He takes up the leash and leads John off the main floor, which houses seven elevated stages for public shows, to the more private area upstairs that he prefers. The entire upstairs is built in the round with twenty four individual playrooms. Each room is mostly open to the rest of the club, allowing a view of each scene being played out. A curtain is tied to the right of each room; should the participants want total privacy, they only need to pull the curtain closed and latch it to the hook on the opposite wall. Within each room is a completely private space, also enclosed by a curtain, that consists of a long plush couch, mini fridge, and snack station. 

The rooms are split between general purpose, equipped with various toys and props, and more specifically set rooms. Some contain floor and ceiling restraints, a few have Y crosses, there is one with a gallows cross, and one contains a ceiling mounted four point swing.

James leads John to an empty multipurpose room, he waits patiently in the center of the room, head bowed, hands clasped behind his back. James circles him slowly and looks his fill. The suits John wears to work accentuate the fact that he is fit, but they hide the beautiful arch of his spine over his ass and the thick muscles in his thighs. They hide just how flat John’s stomach is and the six pack he obviously works very hard for. They hide his dark, pert little nipples and James can’t help but thumb one of them just to watch it get hard. 

John’s only outward reaction is a slight flutter in his eyelashes. 

James steps up behind John and presses their bodies together. He hears the hitch in John’s breath, can almost feel his increased heart beat, but John remains perfectly silent and still. He presses closer, rubbing his half hard cock over the swell of John’s ass. John’s body is radiating heat where they’re touching and James’s cock throbs as that heat seeps through his pants. James hooks his chin over John’s shoulder and looks down his body, seeing the thickening bulge of John’s cock in his shorts. Reaching around, he gently cups John’s cock and can feel the way John’s muscles tighten to keep himself still. He strokes over John with his palm, lets his fingers slide back until he can push just lightly against John’s covered hole. Out of the corner of his eye he watches the way John’s lips curl in, the way his jaw clenches to keep any sound from escaping. He licks under John’s ear, and catches the soft exhale of breath as John’s body finally reacts, his eyes slipping closed briefly.

“Word.” James asks as he traces the shell of John’s ear with his tongue.

“Cauliflower.” It’s almost a moan and James smiles again. He loves a responsive partner.

James steps away and circles John until he’s standing in front of him again. John’s eyes stay on the floor. James tilts John’s head up, but his eyes remain focused just over James’s shoulder. With delight, James realizes that someone taught John well. But that strict training is going to be wasted on James, he prefers his partners to be loud and to participate fully.

“You can look at me.”

John’s eyes snap to his immediately. His pupils are big and round and there’s a slightly dazed look in his eyes that James is already addicted to. James has been fascinated by John’s eyes for years, they change color often and sometimes radically. Now he has the opportunity to study them openly the way he never could before.

“I don’t want you to be silent. Every sound you think about suppressing? Don’t. I want to hear how I make you feel.” James holds eye contact until John nods with a quiet, “Yes, sir.”  
James feels his blood pressure spike. This time when James leans in and licks across John’s throat he moans even as his body remains rigid. When James bites across his collarbone John gasps. When James sucks a nipple into his mouth John’s breathy little _oh_ brings a smile to his face.

He pulls back to his full height and traces his thumb over John’s full bottom lip. “Good boy.” 

James sees the flush of pleasure that suffuses John’s face. James pushes down gently on John’s shoulder and without hesitation he sinks to his knees gracefully. He waits, hands lying limply on his thighs, eyes turned up watching James silently. “Open my pants,” James speaks softly, distinctly, leaving no room for hesitation.

John’s fingers reach up to undo the button and pull down the zipper. He goes no further until James says, “Take my cock out.” 

James is already so hard he aches but seeing his cock spring free inches from John’s face is enough to send a single drop of fluid leaking from his tip.

“Suck me.”

John smiles dreamily and licks his lips before leaning forward. James’s eyes are glued to John’s mouth. So often he’s imagined exactly this, every time John had licked his lips at work, every time they’d get a beer together, every time they shared lunch together, he couldn't keep his eyes off of John’s mouth, couldn’t keep from wanting to slip his cock across John’s tongue, to see his lips slick and swollen. Now that he’s here, he realizes how paltry his imagination was. 

John brushes his lips softly over the head, his tongue flicking out to lick down one side. John nuzzles his balls, licks each one before running his tongue up the underside of James’s cock back to the head. He licks across the slit, tongue probing before wrapping his lips over the head. He twists his tongue around and goes down slow and steady. His mouth is so fucking hot, James can’t help the little thrust of his hips. It doesn’t slow John down a bit as he continues to work his way down James’s cock.

He sinks all the way down until his lips meet James’s groin. James can feel the head of his cock hitting the back of John’s throat and the lack of a gag reflex has James’s hips shoving forward on instinct. John hums around him, eyes falling closed as a look of pure bliss flits across his face. John pulls back, cheeks hollowing as he sucks all the way to the head. 

When he twists back down again, John slips his tongue out and licks through the light hair at the base of James’s cock and James shudders, a harsh groan working its way out of his throat.

“That’s so good. You’re such a good boy.” James says as he pets John’s hair. James runs the backs of his fingers along John’s cheekbones, traces the shell of his ear before cupping the back of John’s head and pulling him forward. 

James’s cock slides into the back of John’s throat once more. John looks up, bleary eyed, and swallows around James’s cock. James has to grit his teeth and hold John still to back himself off the edge. He feels John’s throat fluttering around him, another inch cuts off John’s air altogether.

“Such a pretty mouth, such a good boy taking my cock like that.” James watches John shiver as his eyes slip closed.

James tunnels both of his hands through John’s hair, holding him in place as James pulls out and thrusts back in as deep as he can go. John’s hands fall to his lap as he sits back on his heels, mouth open, lips red and wet. He takes what James gives him without a single hint of apprehension. 

James watches John’s mouth where his cock slides in and out. He’s mesmerized by the way John looks, his cheeks bulging, a little bit of spit caught in the corner of his mouth. When John’s eyes open, James is nearly brought to his knees. There’s so much naked heat and need and want staring back at him. John’s eyes are dark and intense, glazed over with pleasure, silently begging James to use him.

James slides in and out faster. The obscene sound of John’s throat being fucked echoing around him. He brings his cock to the very tip of John’s tongue. He squeezes the head pushing a string of precome onto John’s tongue. He smears it over John’s top lip before pushing roughly back in until John’s nose is pressed to his groin.

“You’re making me feel so good, I love the way my cock looks in your mouth.” John lets out a whimper in reply and James can barely catch his breath, the pleasure of John’s mouth is so intense. It’s heating up his nerves endings, sparking down his spine and fuck, he wants to come right now, all over John’s pretty face, but he has other plans. James shoves in deep and holds.

John is breathing fast and shallow through his nose like a horse that’s been ridden hard, sides heaving trying to keep up. James can see his heart beating in his neck, and his cock is tenting his shorts in the filthiest way. 

James trails his fingers around John’s spit slick mouth, “You’re being such a good boy.”

John moans around him and opens his mouth wider. James threads his hand back through John’s hair and pulls him off. James takes hold of the leash and pulls just slightly, “Up.”

John immediately scrambles to his feet. He stands with his legs shoulder width apart and his hands behind his back, eyes trained on a spot against the back wall. James is torn between being thankful that John is so well trained and being jealous that someone else had the pleasure of teaching him. 

James tucks himself back into his pants for now, leaving them unfastened and riding low on his hips, and walks slowly around John, hands trailing over tan skin. John is so smooth and hairless, body toned with firmly defined muscle and now that James has the chance to touch him, he intends to take advantage of it. He runs his fingers across John’s collarbone, the touch makes John shake. 

James thumbs both of John’s nipples and John gasps as his eyes fall closed. James takes one in his mouth and John’s head falls back on a sharp intake of breath as James bites gently. When he tugs with his teeth John’s hips thrust forward. James cups him through his shorts and the moan he gets in return is beautifully loud. 

“Good boy. You’re perfect, being so good for me.” James licks the words into the skin of John’s neck, his tongue tracing John’s rabbiting heartbeat.

James moves behind him and slides his hands down John’s back, nails scraping gently along his spine. Goosebumps pop up all over John’s body as he sighs in pleasure.

James walks over to the wall and selects a padded spanking bench and a riding crop from the array of props hanging from pegs on the wall. When he turns back, he sees John swallow hard once he notices what James had selected.

“Pants down.” James says softly.

John immediately pushes his pants to his ankles, eyes seeking James’s for approval. James nods and smiles at him before placing the bench directly in front of John. Without hesitation John sinks onto the bench, popping his ass out and leaning all the way forward.

After several deeps breaths, James slowly runs the tip of the crop over John’s ass. John shivers at the contact, his ass flexing involuntarily. James then traces John’s spine from top to bottom. He lightly taps the head of the crop against John’s left ass cheek. John lets loose a soft breath and he pushes his ass out further.

James brings his hand back just a few inches and lets the crop slap gently against John’s left cheek and then his right. John’s body jolts, a low moan falling from his lips. John’s head hangs over the bench, hair covering his face. James pulls back on John’s shoulders and John rests his forearms on the top of the bench, head tilted back as he looks up at James. 

Another light smack and John gasps, eyes dilating. James spends long minutes alternating light hits between John’s ass cheeks, they’re enough to sting but not enough to leave more than a trace of color behind, just enough to warm up John’s ass and get him ready for what’s to come. Continuing with light slaps, James works his way down to the tops of John’s thighs. John can’t see him so he never knows where the next hit will land and each one gets a low moan of appreciation from him.

After a dozen or so hits, James starts to put a bit more force behind his swing. John jerks at the initial shock of pain, body instinctively trying to move away, but the sounds he’s letting loose are steeped in pleasure. 

“So good. You’re taking it so well. Being such a good boy.”

James can see the outline of the crop starting to leave imprints on John’s skin. The color of his ass and thighs keeps moving up the color spectrum and John is having a hard time keeping still, his hips are pushing back into James’s swings and then forward to rub his cock against the vinyl of the bench. Normally James would disallow that, but his fondness for John is clouding his judgement. The way he wants John, the way he wants to see John come, is keeping him from reprimanding his misbehavior.

James walks around the bench and stops in front of John. He takes his cock out and John’s mouth instantly opens as his eyes fall closed. James brushes his cock over John’s bottom lip. When John’s tongue comes out, James rubs the head all over it before he slides slowly into John’s waiting mouth. 

John takes James down all the way. He’s sloppy and fast and so eager that James has to bite his tongue to keep from calling John’s name. His head keeps bobbing faster with each stroke and the hint of teeth has James gentling him with a hand on his neck. He doesn’t want to come yet and the way John is sucking him would have had him there in no time.

James leans over John’s body and lays his hands on John’s red ass. He’s hot to the touch as James strokes and massages each cheek before squeezing hard just to feel John moan around him. He lets his palms fall in quick succession against John’s ass over and over. Hand prints are starting to obliterate the traces of the crop until the only thing standing out are the imprint of James’s fingers.

John is suckeling at his cock, less movement of his head and more twisting of his tongue. James’s hips thrust in and out slowly as he plays with John’s ass. James’s fingers are starting to sting and his palms are turning as red as John’s ass and the primal urge to fuck and take is so strong James has to bite the inside of his cheek to keep himself from fucking John’s throat raw. 

John is moaning around his cock, the vibrations sending shock waves down James’s spine. There’s spit streaming from John’s mouth, wetting down James’s balls and the vinyl under him. He pulls out of John’s mouth and moves around the bench behind John. 

He kneels on the bench between John’s spread legs and fits his cock into the crack of John’s ass. John’s spit on his cock slicks the way as James thrusts against him. He pulls John up, plasters their bodies together so he can get at John’s neglected cock. He runs his hand over John’s chest, pinches his nipples until they’re hard and red.

James props his chin on John’s shoulder so he can watch his fist stroke John off. He’s got a beautiful cock, thick and uncut, curved just slightly back toward his body. He’s wet and leaking, the head red and shiny, so ready for James to let him come.

“Such a pretty cock, everything about you is beautiful. Such a beautiful boy.”

John flexes his ass cheeks, tries to give James a tighter channel to thrust into. It’s slightly awkward, these benches weren’t made for two people, but James can’t even think about letting go. John feels so good against him, skin damp and warm. His head lolls back onto James’s shoulder, his bottom lip pulled between his teeth. James thumbs it free and tells John he wants to hear him. John’s breathly little grunts go straight to his cock. 

James runs his tongue along the thick vein in John’s neck as he strokes John’s cock faster, his fingers tightening on the head, concentrating pressure. He nips at John’s ear lobe. John starts to shake against him, his whole body quaking as James says, “I want you to come for me. Now.”

John’s body goes tight and stiff, hips thrusting frantically into James’s fist, back bowing as he comes over James’s fingers and the bench. His chest is heaving, breath stuttering. He finally goes limp against James for several seconds before he leans back over the bench, pushing his ass against James’s groin. 

He pulls James’s fingers into his mouth and sucks his own come off of them, his tongue weaving a pattern over and through James’s fingers that is reminiscent of having John’s mouth on his cock. He thrusts against John’s ass faster, his cock sliding smoothly along the crease, helped along by his own leaking cock head and the sweat on John’s body.

James feels his balls draw up as heat coils low in his belly. He puts his hands on John’s ass and squeezes his cheeks tight around his cock. Closing his eyes, he concentrates on the feelings rolling through him. The hot pounding of his pulse, the tingle at the tips of his fingers, how hot John’s ass is against him. John moans and then it’s game over for James. 

He shoots over John’s back and ass, thick ropes of come that almost reach John’s hair. Blinding pleasure rips through him causing him to fall forward against John's back as he tries to catch his breath. He rolls his forehead against the back of John’s head, hips jerking, praise falling from his lips the whole time. He’s not sure what he’s saying but John is practically purring under him, so it must be coherent.

After he comes down, James heaves himself off John to get the baby wipes. When he wipes John down, If he takes longer than he really needs to, just so he can continue to put his hands on John’s body, no one needs to know. He then helps John up. He pulls John’s shorts up before leading him to the small couch in the corner of the room out of view. 

James pulls John into his lap cradling John between his legs, and hands him an apple and a bottle of water. John leans back against him as James sweeps his hands over John’s arms and chest. He plays with John’s fingers, running his own through and over them until he weaves their fingers together.

“You’re so very lovely. You did so well. Made me so happy.” James whispers the praise into John’s hair and John settles further into James’s arms. James can feel the smile on John’s face as he turns his head into James’s chest. He kisses the dead center of James’s chest and James feels his heart contract.

They spend half an hour cuddling before John’s jaw cracks loudly on a yawn. James kisses him softly, everything he can’t put into words for John funneled into that one kiss. John sways into him and by the time James pulls back John’s eyes are hazy again. With one last slap to John’s ass, James heads toward the locker room.


	3. Not much between despair and ecstasy

At seven twenty two the next morning James sits behind his desk, pen tapping against the glass surface, eyes glued to the door. Unable to sleep, he’d come in early hoping the quiet would allow him to finalize the plans for the new University of Chicago medical building they’re working on. So far, all he’s done is stare blankly at the plans as if they’re completely foreign to him while the uneasiness in his gut at seeing John has grown by the minute. He’s told himself to be calm but the prospect of seeing John this morning, of knowing exactly what he looks like naked and hard, is slowly driving James insane. 

He’s spent the last twelve hours trying to reconcile the two parts of John that he’s now seen. On more than one occasion he has seen John stare down CEO’s and planning committee executives alike only to watch those men crumble under John’s commanding presence. Last night he’d seen John turn pliant and docile under his authoritative hand. And it very clearly hadn’t been his first time. John had been trained, and so well so, that despite James’s direction to the contrary, John had reverted to that training more than once.

It’s not as if James doesn’t understand the need for the outlet. He understands perfectly, but had he ever had occasion to guess, he would have assumed that John would be on the same end of the spectrum as he. But James also sees the draw of supplication. He himself has more than once tossed around the idea of trying it. He can only imagine the freedom one must feel in allowing someone else to control their every move. He can certainly see the appeal of shutting down and just feeling.

He has so many questions. Questions he knows he’ll never be able to ask. John can never know that it was him behind the mask. The trust they currently share would be obliterated if John knew that James hadn’t immediately revealed himself. That instead, he had selfishly taken what he’d wanted from John without a thought to how John might feel about his boss knowing about his extracurricular activities. While everyone that’s a member of the club is afforded a certain amount of privacy and secrecy, James has so far never encountered someone he’s known in his normal day to day life. Until now.

James is peering out the window when John walks through the door. John’s _good morning_ startles him and the pen he had been playing with goes flying across the room, barely missing John’s head. 

“I’m sorry.” James blurts loudly.

John just laughs and asks, “Jumpy? There’s no reason, we’ve done this a hundred times.”

James’s head snaps around to stare at John, eyes widening until he remembers that they’re meeting with two donors for the Project HOPE foundation at ten am. His nerves settle slightly as John gives him a sideways look and tosses the errant pen onto James’s desk. James pretends to shuffle papers but his eyes catch the gentle way John sits down and James feels his whole body flush.

He did that. He made John’s ass so sore he has to sit down gingerly and James has a hard time hiding the smile forming on his face. But the knowledge of it also calms him. This time, when he shuffles papers on his desk it’s because he’s looking for a proposal and not just something to keep his hands occupied.

They work silently for an hour and half until James hears John groan as he stretches and James is suddenly paralyzed. His brain immediately takes him back to the club and the way John’s ass had looked with his hand prints all over it. His heart starts to pound and his breath speeds up; his palms start to sweat as his whole body goes hot. One image after another flashes behind his eyes. The arch of John’s back, the way his nipples pebbled, the phantom feeling of John’s mouth, the way he’d come all over James’s fingers, the taste of John’s skin, the feel of his cock sliding between John’s sweat slicked ass cheeks. He vividly recalls the way John’s mouth had looked on his cock stretched wide, wet with spit, as James had slid in and out. His cock twitches in his pants, blood speeding south to fill it as the sound of John gasping his way through his orgasm plays on a loop in James’s head.

John’s hand on his shoulder and his voice in James’s ear bring him back to the present. “James, are you alright?”

James has to curl his hands into fists to keep from reaching for him, from grabbing John’s tie in the same way he had taken John’s leash last night, and pulling him into James’s lap. His eyes go to John’s mouth. The urge to kiss him is so strong it has James licking his lips. He nearly sways forward when John’s eyes drop to watch James’s tongue slide along his lower lip. James could swear he sees heat flare in the deep blue of John’s eyes and his cock throbs with arousal.

He has to get out of this room, away from John, away from the way he looks and the sound of his voice and, god, the way he smells. James digs his nails into his palms, drags his eyes off of John’s lips, and smiles up at John as he pushes his chair back.

“Yeah, just need to get more coffee,” James says as he rushes past John. 

John takes a step back as his eyebrows furrow. He starts to open his mouth but James bustles out the door. Heading straight for the bathroom, he slams and locks the door behind him. He puts his hands on the side of the sink leaning over to suck in huge gulps of air. He needs to get a hold of himself. 

Right now he has to find a way to get past this. John is a huge part of his life and he can’t let this affect their entire relationship. He turns on the cold faucet, tosses his tie over his shoulder, and leans down to splash his face with water. He dries himself off with paper towels as he stares himself down in the mirror. James forces himself to compartmentalize everything that happened last night, he puts everything in a box and locks it up tight before walking out of the bathroom. James is much more calm and centered. He can do this. He can keep everything in neat little labeled boxes in his mind. He stops to get the coffee he told John he needed before heading back to their office.

When he gets back, John is on the phone. By the time the call is over it’s time for them to head out to their meeting with Dan and Charlotte the donors for Project HOPE. There’s no time for James to second guess himself and his decision to keep everything separate. 

Their meeting with Dan and Charlotte goes off without a hitch. They’ve been working on Project HOPE to rebuild a run down park and playground that had been abandoned by the city. John is charming and convincing, and manages to persuade them into agreeing to the slightly more expensive, but safer, changes in design that both he and James felt were worth it. He presents his arguments with both pros and cons, detailing his research and backing it up with documentation. Dan and Charlotte are not only impressed, they’re grateful for John’s dedication and insight. By the time the contracts are signed they’re all well pleased with the outcome and excited to get the project started.

From the very first time that John had managed to bring a donor around to their way of thinking, or the first time he’d managed to soothe an irate planning board, James had allowed John to do all the talking. He’s informative, authoritative, and frankly, watching John work makes James a little starry eyed. John knows exactly when to push, and just how hard, to make people see things his way. He’s an ace storyteller and his empathy, whether real or put on, is second to none.  
James honestly doesn’t know how he does it, but he’s thankful that he’s never has to be on the receiving end of one of John’s plans to make someone turn around. 

***

The rest of James’s week is blessedly quiet. John submits the plan to the city and James makes arrangements to meet with his former boss who is in town for a seminar. With each day that passes, James can feel his nerves tightening. When Wednesday rolls around James is a mix of anticipation and dread. He spends all day distracted and thankful that John has meetings for most of the day. 

That evening, when James shows up at the club, he doesn’t see John. He makes several passes upstairs and downstairs and after an hour and a half he convinces himself that it's for the best. He’d reacted badly the first time, he can’t imagine what he’d be like if it continued. James convinces himself it was a one off and he sets his sights on moving on. So instead, he picks blondes with short hair and brown eyes that are the polar opposite of John. It allows James to keep his head clear both at the club and at work.

***

On Monday John walks through the door whistling as he plops a shot glass down on James’s desk. James picks it up and inspects it, “I’ve been to Neva—wait does that say, Nevada Missouri?”

“Yep. Bet you haven’t been there.” John smiles at him as he falls back into his desk chair, hands going behind his head as he leans all the way back. His chest expands and his legs splay. God but James wants him, wants to yank him down to the floor and kiss him breathless. He wants to strip him and bind him, suck him until he’s begging for mercy.

James struggles to keep his eyes above John’s waist and his voice even, “What the hell were you doing there?”

“I have an aunt there, she’s been ill, so I went to visit. Had a few drinks with my cousin in the local bar and they happened to be selling those, so I bought you one.” John grins as he lowers his arms, one hand coming to rest high up against the inseam of his pants and the other resting on his stomach. His hands are framing his cock perfectly and James can’t help but look. 

James feels heat crawl down his spine. He knows he needs to thank John for thinking of him, but he can’t seem to focus and his mouth is suddenly bone dry. He swallows hard, wetting his mouth, “Thank you. I appreciate it, I definitely do not have a glass from Nevada, Missouri.”

James turns back to his desk, determined to finish the contract in front of him, but an hour later when John gets up to remove his jacket James can’t look away. John’s paying him no mind, back almost completely turned to James, as he stretches this way and that. James watches the way he goes to his toes, arms reaching up to lengthen his spine and James can see himself plastering the front of his own body to John’s back so easily. He could reach around, unbutton John’s pants, reach inside and pet John’s cock. He’s desperate to hear the soft breathy way John shows his appreciation for touch.

John arches his back and lets out a low sound, guttural and deep, that has James just barely stifling a moan. Fucking hell, James’s cock is starting to swell in his pants. He can feel himself almost panting as he watches John stretch his arms, his shirt pulling tight across the lean expanse of his back. John turns slowly and James can’t even pretend he was looking anywhere else. He slowly drags his eyes up John’s body.

When their eyes meet James feels it like a touch, he inhales sharply as John takes a single step forward. The moment’s broken when their assistant Tiffany bustles through the door, completely oblivious to the tension within. “John, Marcey at Cook County Zoning is on the phone and she is not happy.”

John drops his head on a sigh, “Thanks Tiff, put her through.” 

It takes a full ten minutes for James to catch his breath. He doesn’t know what the fuck that was, he doesn’t know if he even liked it, but he can’t help wondering what would have happened if Tiffany hadn’t come barging through the door. 

***

The next day, John asks James to lunch. The deli was so crowded they squeezed into the same side of a both that an elderly couple had offered to share. James started up a conversation with the man only to have John’s hand suddenly on his thigh. John was slow in removing it, treating him to the delicious feel of John’s fingers running from his knee to his groin. John only looked at him and shrugged, a half assed _sorry_ mumbled around a meatball sub. 

He spent the entire lunch with John pressed tight against him, the heat of his body seeping through James’s clothes, making him sweat, the smell of him permeating James’s senses so that even hours later he could still smell the citrusy aroma of John’s cologne. Even once the elderly couple left and John had the opportunity to move, he stayed glued to James’s side, instead offering the other side to two young professionals. The two women had proceeded to flirt with John outrageously. James gritted his teeth when one of them left a napkin with her phone number on it for John. It ended up in a shredded pile on the table.

***

Wednesday James give himself a pep talk in the locker room. He tells himself not to look for John, not to think about John but every glimpse of dark hair turns his head until almost two hours have passed. He finally picks up what has become his new standard. Later he’ll pretend that he didn’t see John every time he closed his eyes.

***

On Friday John had come in with a cinnamon roll from Au Bon Pain. He’d spent a half an hour licking icing from his fingers as he and James went over the budget for the Project HOPE park. James has no idea what they talked about or whether any of the numbers had changed. When John had held out the box and offered James a piece it had taken everything in him to decline politely instead of pulling John’s fingers into his own mouth. James had been torn between watching the way John’s tongue circled his fingertips and watching the way his eyes fluttered closed at each sticky sweet taste of icing. James knew he would never look at a cinnamon bun the same way again. 

James has never been so happy to see a weekend in all his life. His relief, however, is short lived.

***

The next Monday starts off no better than the previous one. John decides to treat the entire office to ice cream for Sandy’s, one of the girls in Finance, engagement announcement. James thought he understood being tested, until he saw the way John wrapped his lips around an ice cream cone. He tries desperately not to stare as John’s tongue slowly licks across the side of the ice cream. James end up having to leave the room. 

It only gets worse through the rest of the week. John spills an entire bottle of water across his lap, the wet material molds to John’s cock and James damn near moans out loud as he watches John's hands swipe across the mess. John had ordered a new desk and instead of having IT come down to disconnect and reconnect all of his equipment, John gets down on the floor and proceeds to crawl around their office on his hands and knees, ass in the air, for more than an hour. After a full week of torture, James is more than ready for Wednesday. 

***

James doesn't bother looking for John. He figures it's been two weeks now and John isn't coming back. He tamps down on the disappointment that threatens to overtake him, and swallows down the last of his drink before ordering another. When he feels a hand slide down his spine, he schools his features expecting a stranger. Turning, James is met with John’s teasing half smile as he tilts his face up and James doesn’t hesitate. He feels like a bitch in heat, the last few weeks have had him on edge, what with John having suddenly forgotten what personal space means. 

He pulls John in; they both sigh at the contact as their mouths slide together. This time John doesn’t taste like anything but he’s just as eager as before, body melting into James’s, arms going around his waist to bring their bodies flush. James runs his hands through John’s hair, rubbing the strands between his fingers to feel its softness. John moans into the kiss when James’s hand tightens to pull his head back. 

James can let himself admit that he’s missed this. That while his last two encounters had been good and relieved the stress of his work week and the constant thrum of need he feels for John, they weren’t as good as this. And they weren’t nearly enough to sate him. The feel of John’s body against his makes his blood run hot. His whole body is attuned to John as they come together. He’s never wanted anyone this much. He’s never felt need this deeply.

James breaks the kiss and noses along John’s cheek until he can bury his face in John’s hair at the side of his neck. James takes a deep breath and is surrounded by the scent of him. That’s all it takes for his cock to swell in his pants. James pushes a thigh between John’s legs and John’s already hard. He rocks against James, hips hitching up looking for friction. James’s hands slide down John’s back to cup his ass and pull him closer. John gasps against his neck, the feel of his wet breath sending a shudder through James’s body.

When James pulls back, John holds the leash out to him again. James hooks it and then leads him up the stairs. They walk the round, peeking into each room before James stops at one that contains a four point swing hanging from the ceiling. He lifts a single eyebrow and John smiles, tilting his head in the universal sign for ‘why not.’

Once inside the room, James leads John to the display case of unopened packaged toys on offer. James stands behind John, hands on his shoulders. He traces his tongue along the shell of John’s ear, eliciting a shiver, as he whispers, “Pick.”

John reaches behind himself, feels for James’s trapped cock. He strokes along the length of it several times, before selecting a silicone cock and then a heart shaped, vibrating silicone plug. James laughs silently at John picking a dildo based on his size.

He strips John of his shorts and boots then helps him into the swing. Laying back, with his feet in the bottom stirrups, John’s body is open and on display. James doesn’t even pretend not to look. The toned muscles and gold skin send more blood rushing south. James can’t wait to touch him, to taste him. He steps between John’s wide spread legs and sweeps his fingertips over John’s chest and stomach watching as the muscles underneath the skin ripple.

He leans in and tongues at John’s left nipple. John’s back bows and he lets out a soft hum of pleasure. James laves across John’s chest, sucking on first one and then the other nipple until they’re both wet and red from the abuse. He moves down, fits his tongue into the grooves of John’s abdomen, licks into his belly button to a soundtrack of John’s soft gasps and sighs.

Mouthing along John’s groin, James avoids his cock to instead licks at the joint of his hip and thigh, he sucks hard to bring blood to the surface as John moans above him. He scrapes his teeth along John’s inner thighs and John cries out, body jerking as he tries to close his legs at the sharp sting of James’s teeth. James bites and sucks up and down the sensitive skin until it’s pink and warm to the touch. John’s cock is hard and leaking where it lays on his stomach, his body wracked by one shudder after another. 

James drops to his knees and traces his finger along John’s hole. It flutters at the touch and James’s mouth waters. He doesn’t even think about it, he just leans forward and licks a long stripe from John’s hole to his balls. The flat of his tongue drags wetly against the rough skin. John practically shouts as his hips shove back against James’s face.

James licks at him again, circles John’s hole with the tip of tongue. The musky taste of John’s skin makes him moan. He’s dreamed about having John like this. James is so hungry for him. He brings his hands up and pulls John apart, flicks his tongue over John’s hole half a dozen times. He alternates between using the flat of his tongue in long, wide stripes and using the point of it to tease before sinking inside as far as John’s body will let him.

He’s so hot and smooth inside. James pushes his face against John’s ass harder. He can hear John gasping, breathy little moans that almost sound like pain. The whole swing is jerking as John tries to rock his hips against James’s face. James wishes they were on a bed, he wants to be on his back, John over him, thighs bracketing his head as he fucks himself on James’s tongue. He wants to feel the pressure of John’s weight on his face, to feel the way John would rock against him, the way he’d cry out, he wants to feel John come all over him.

James licks and sucks and bites until the entire bottom half of the mask is wet with his own spit and John is begging him, a constant litany of _please and fuck me and don’t stop._ John’s cock is twitching and leaking, his ass wet and shiny and red from the scrape of James’s teeth.

James’s own cock is throbbing in his pants, hard and aching. When he stands up he rubs his leather covered cock against John’s ass. James can feel the wetness of his cock head smearing along the inside of his pants as he ruts against John. Even just that small amount of friction has James’s balls drawing up ready to come. He’s so fucking hard for John, his body is on fire every place they touch. He leans in and sucks hard at the juncture of John’s neck and shoulder, waits until he knows a mark is forming, and then bites directly into the middle of it. John moans and thrashes under him trying to rub himself against James.

He pulls back and puts a hand in the center of John’s chest and says, “Still.”

John immediately obeys, tension leaving him as his head falls back. The only thing moving now are John’s sides as he gulps in air. 

“Good boy, so good for me.” 

James waits until John is calm again and then he takes John’s cock in his hand; it’s hot to the touch and wet at the tip. James flicks his thumb under the head, John’s body jerks involuntarily. James slides his hand down to hold John in a loose grip. 

He works John slowly, fingers just barely curled around him, until John’s hips start to twitch up looking for more. James stills his hand. Once John’s body relaxes, James starts stroking his cock again. He works up to a faster rhythm, John staying still this time, eyes glazed, mouth slack as he stares at James. John licks his lips as his eyes roll up in his head. 

John’s breath turns ragged and James feels John’s cock swelling in his hand, sees his balls draw tighter to his body. He strokes several more times before letting John’s cock drop to his stomach and dragging just the tips of his fingers from tip to root.

“No, please, please.” John begs him, his head is tossed back, body shivering, hands curled into tight fists where they’re held in the top restraints of the swing. 

“Shhh, I’ve got you. You’re doing so well, such a good boy.” James leans in, licks around both of John’s nipples just to hear him whimper, his fingers continuing to slide lazily along John’s cock. 

James kisses him quick, just a light brush of lips, before he moves over to the table to open the plug. He pulls off the batteries taped to the back and inserts them. He then tests the speeds before grabbing a few baby wipes and wiping it down just for peace of mind. There’s a liter size bottle of lube with a pump sitting on the display counter and James coats the plug and three fingers on his right hand liberally. 

When he gets back to John, his eyes are half lidded as he watches James. James rubs across John’s ass with two slick fingers to spread lube over his hole. John moans softly, ass clenching. James slides his middle finger in with one smooth, slow slide. John’s breath punches out of him on a gasp as his hips shift slightly. John feels like hot silk on the inside and James has to stifle a moan, asking instead, “Good?”

Just as John opens his mouth to answer James curls his finger up and John’s body jumps, “Fuck yes. So good.”

James twists and pulls, stroking in and out slowly at first and then speeding up to match John’s hitching breaths. He tugs gently on John’s rim to widen him, just to see John’s hole spasm around his fingers. 

“So gorgeous. So pink and pretty around my fingers. Such a pretty little hole. You want more?” James asks softly.

“Yes, God, yes.” John’s ass sucks his fingers back in greedily every time he pulls out. It’s so pretty James wants to take a picture. He wants to be able to look at it whenever he wants, to see how eager John is for him, to see how gorgeous and open John’s hole is, to see it and think about sinking into him with his cock, to think about how hot and tight John would be around him. 

With his other hand James flicks the plug to the first setting. The gentle buzz gets John’s attention. His eyes watch warily as James slowly lowers the vibrating head to his balls.

John’s body convulses with the first touch and he lets out a long broken moan. James works another finger into John’s ass as he moves the plug up to the head of John’s cock. He rubs all the way down the shaft and then back up, pressing it tight to the slit and John’s whole body shudders, ass clamping down on James’s fingers.

“Oh fuck, please, please.” John’s voice is ragged and thick with desperation. 

James pushes in with three fingers, fucks in hard and fast as he brings the plug down, switches the speed up to the next setting and presses the tip hard just under John’s sac. When James looks up at John’s face he has his bottom lip pulled between his teeth, the skin white from biting down so hard. 

“I want to hear you.” James tells him as he presses harder with the plug.

John all but screams as James’s fingers fuck into him hard, curling up on every stroke. John’s hips roll effortlessly along with James’s fingers, body greedy for every touch as he pants loudly. James shoves his fingers all the way in, pressing up at the same time as he presses the plug harder against John’s perineum. He can feel the vibrations against his fingers through John’s skin. 

“Don’t stop, god, fuck, don’t stop.” John’s eyes are closed, brows furrowed as he grinds down, down, down against James’s hand. James can see John’s orgasm creeping up on him, he can practically feel the glow of it as it starts to build inside him. He watches John’s cock twitch and pulse, sees him get harder, thicker. He’s so close now, just a few more seconds, he waits for John’s head to go back, for his fingers to spread and then curl into fists, he waits for that one small intake of breath, and then James pulls his hands away. John shakes his head, a soft little _no_ leaving him on a whimper. 

John shakes and writhes, his stomach muscles clenching as he tries to curl in on himself. He’d been so close, James knows. His cock is twitching and drooling precome as it jumps against John’s stomach.

James lets John cool down and catch his breath before he lubes the plug and presses it inside. He waits several seconds for John get used to the feeling of it before flipping it to the middle speed. John moans, eyes opening wide. James watches a bead sweat roll down John’s chest. He leans in to lick it off of John’s abs and his cock ends up pressed to the base of the plug. He can feel the vibrations through his pants and he feels himself shudder with how good it feels. He can only imagine how it must feel for John. He pushes his hips forward and presses the plug further inside. John’s body quakes against him.

“Good boy, you’re such a good boy.” John’s only answer is to hum and rub his cock all over James’s stomach. “You want to come?”

“Please.” the catch in John’s voice sends chills up James’s spine. John’s covered in a layer of sweat, hair stuck to his head and James can’t resist him. He kisses John slow and thorough, tongues tangling, teeth nipping. James pulls back and tugs at John’s bottom lip. He walks to the cabinet and unwraps the silicone cock John had chosen, wipes it down, and slicks it thoroughly.

James pulls the plug out slowly, John’s breath hitching, and then carefully seats the dildo until only the base remains outside of John’s body. John’s teeth are gritted and he’s blowing out harsh breaths as he gets used to the feeling of being filled. He looks like every wet dream James has had for the last four years; flushed and sweating, body strung tight with need, breathing like he’s run a race, pleasure lighting up his face. James can’t wait to make him come.

He pulls the fake cock back a few inches and then pushes forward and back again. He repeats the same slow glide, in and out, until the cock is sliding easy and John’s hips push back seeking more. James adds a bit more lube and press it home firmly. John’s mouth falls open on a silent _oh_ , his head tilts back and his hips push up. James works the cock in and out steadily, building a rhythm, building pressure inside John’s body.

He turns the plug back on and applies it directly to the underside of John’s cock head. John’s back bows sharply as he keens.

“Look at me.” James demands.

John’s head shoots up, eyes bleary, barely able to focus as the pleasure rolls through him. James sees the bliss filled smile on John’s face, knows he’s flying, gone somewhere else, his mind not taking in anything but the blinding pleasure James is giving him. James keeps fucking him, inside and out until John is mewling, body tightening, tremors running the length of him, legs twitching and then James says, “Come.”

John lets loose a single wail before his body starts to convulse, ropes of come shooting up his chest and stomach, hitting the bottom of his chin as he rocks down on the fake cock James is still fucking him with. His body starts to go lax with the last of the aftershocks rolling through him.

“James.” It’s whispered so softly that James nearly misses it. His eyes immediately look to John’s face but John’s head is back, eyes clenched tight. With a kick to the stomach James realizes that John is imagining him, fantasizing about _him_. That behind his closed eyes, it really is him making John come. 

James has to bite his tongue to clear his mind or he’s going to blow their entire relationship, working and otherwise, out of the water. Just the idea that John wants him, that John thinks about him, is enough to send desire pulsing through him so strong his knees go weak.

He has to wonder now if John picked him that first night because of his build despite not being able to see his face. Did John come here looking for someone built like James to take him apart? Does he spend each day agonizing over his attraction the way James does? Does he get himself off thinking of James? His baser instincts tell James to rip off the mask and show John his face so he can have him completely, but a bigger part of him stays his hand, too afraid of losing John. 

John’s body starts to settle and become heavy. His hand comes up and rests on the back of James’s neck to pull him closer. He kisses James with such sweetness that James hears himself whine. Slowly, James pulls the cock from John’s ass, takes the hiss of discomfort into himself as he licks softly into John’s mouth.

James snugs his hips up close to John’s ass and rocks against him. He can feel the heat of John’s body seeping through his pants. He pulls John closer to him, whispers in his ear. He tells John how beautiful he, how good he is, how good he makes James feel.

He kisses down John’s neck as he ruts against him, his trapped cock swelling and leaking and so hard James thinks he may die before he gets to come. James frees his cock, slides it into the groove of John’s hip and thrusts against him.

“You’re so good, you feel so good. Such a good boy.” He has has to bite down on John’s name the closer he gets. James is building speed, hips fucking fast, winding himself up, his cock aching and needy. A hot rush of pleasure slides down his spine as his legs start to shake. His teeth find John’s shoulder and he bites down, hears John gasp as his hand presses hard at the back of James’s neck.

A few more thrusts and James comes so hard his world grays out and narrows down to a single point of pressure, stars explode behind his eyes, body jerking and shuddering as he shoots across John’s hip, thick and milky white.

Once he catches his breath he cleans them both up before helping John out of the swing and leading him to the couch. He lays out flat and pulls John to him, throwing a blanket over them as he strokes John’s hair, his back, raining praise down on John until he starts to shift and James knows he’s fully back to himself. 

They spend almost an hour lying there curled together and it tears at James like a festering wound. He wants this, he wants it every day. He wants John like this morning and night and every second in between. But they’re too far past the point where James could apologize and John could forgive him. And so this is what he’s left with, a life divided.


	4. Can't be to careful with your company

When John shows up for work the next day, the first two buttons of his shirt are undone, tie hanging from his collar. James can just see the edge of the hickey he left on John’s throat and he has to restrain himself from reaching out and pushing on it, from sinking his teeth into it again. It’s distracting enough that John eventually catches him staring. 

“Sorry,” John’s cheeks pink up and James can’t find his voice as John does up the buttons completely and ties his tie. James just shakes his head and goes back to the paperwork on his desk.

It’s torture for him, seeing John like this. Seeing the shadow of that mark, seeing the floating happiness John had come in with today, watching John’s feet barely touch the ground. He catches John more than once staring off into space, eyes glazed, finger stroking his bottom lip. James knows he’s reliving last night and for a few brief seconds, James is jealous of himself. 

He can’t stop thinking about the way John had whispered his name last night. He can’t stop thinking about telling John the truth. He could repair the damage couldn’t he? John would forgive him wouldn’t he? If he’s thinking of James the same way James thinks of him it should be simple. They could work through it. 

The devil on his shoulder asks him, what if he can’t. What if John can’t forgive him? What happens to James then? What happens to Flint Group? He loses John in every capacity, that’s what happens. And James can’t have that. He needs John in too many ways to contemplate losing him for good.

For the next several hours, James keeps his eyes glued to the plans in front of him. He has no idea what he’s looking at, they could be upside down for all he knows. What he does know is that he needs to appear busy in the hopes of taking his mind off of John and the way he’d felt under James’s hands and mouth last night. He doubles down with his concentration but the words keep blurring into one another and the only thing he can see clearly is the way John’s thighs had shook as he’d come. James closes his eyes briefly, allowing himself a moment to relive it. 

John’s quiet voice next to him startles him out of the memory. He jumps half a foot, making John pause next to him with a crinkle of his eye brows. “Don’t forget we have dinner with Jason Cooper tonight at Corridor.” 

James silently curses, Jason tries his patience on a good day, and today he just doesn’t want to deal with the man. He’s the subcontractor who is getting the contract for the Mason Hospital expansion slated to start next month, and this evening’s dinner is to iron out the final details. Jason is smarmy, and he’s made no secret of the fact that he finds John attractive, sometimes overstepping the bounds of what James considers appropriate, but he runs a tight job site, he’s never brought a job in over budget, and John has never once made an issue of his behavior. James likes to think he can separate his personal and professional feelings when necessary, but Jason makes it damn hard. As far as James is concerned, this night won’t be over soon enough.

John leaves an hour later to drop plans off at the city and run change orders to three different job sites telling James he’ll meet him at ten to seven in the parking garage across from Corridor. James feels his shoulders finally relax after John is gone, he once more looks to the design plans in front of him and this time he’s able concentrate on work alone. 

***

Corridor is a local brew house, forty two specialty beers on tap and some of the best wood fired pizza James has ever had. All of his subcontractors prefer to have their meetings there and he has never been one to complain about leaving the formal trappings behind. As many years as James has been in business, he still feels suffocated by a tie.

He waits for John in the parking garage and when he shows up, James wishes he’d waited inside. John’s in the tightest jeans James has ever seen and a soft worn t-shirt that does absolutely nothing to hide the hint of the mark James left behind. It takes herculean effort to keep his eyes above John’s neck; the last thing he wants is to make John self-conscious again. Once inside they find Jason waiting in a booth. He stands as soon as he sees them. They exchange hand shakes and when they sit back down, Jason arches an eyebrow as he reaches out and pulls John’s shirt away from his neck, “Good night?”

Jason’s smirking at John and James has to look away to keep from punching him in the face. 

John just laughs, “Something like that.“

Jason leans across the table, lowers his voice and says, “Lucky as fuck, whoever they were.”

James’s head snaps back around so fast his neck actually cracks. He feels his eyes narrow, jealousy and possessiveness snaking through him darkly, as Jason continues to look at John. Jason’s eyes slide down John’s chest and James slaps the contract on the table with a loud thump causing the other two men to jump. The look he gets from Jason is knowing, next to James, John just looks startled. Jason eyes James and says, “Who’s getting the first round?”

Before James can tell him to fuck off and get his own goddamn beer, John is out of the booth and headed toward the bar.

“So I take it it wasn’t you then?” Jason sits back in the booth, smirk firmly in place. James doesn’t bother with a response, just pushes the contract farther across the table. 

By the time John’s back with their beers, Jason is on the fifth page, the subject of John and his personal life dropped and buried. James is staring out the window, body still tense, when John slides in next to him. He sits closer than is strictly necessary and when James glances at him John tilts his head slightly, brows drawing in briefly. James just shakes his head and looks down at the table.

John’s hand settles on his thigh and James has to close his eyes for a split second. He tenses the muscle under John’s hand and instead of removing said hand, John’s fingers dig in and slide further up his inseam. James whips his head to the side and their eyes lock. There’s a nervousness in John’s eyes that triggers James’s flight response. John licks his bottom lip and James just barely keeps himself in check. He can feel heat sliding through his veins at the promise of John’s lush mouth. James remembers the exact shape and feel of those lips beneath his, how John tastes, the way John is always eager for his kiss, and the way John’s tongue curls around his own. James knows how wet and red John’s lips would look if James kissed him right now, he knows the exact sound of acquiescence John would make before letting himself sink head long into the kiss, he knows the way John’s eyes would fall closed, the way his body would give over, and James wants it like a starving man at a buffet.

For several seconds he forgets where they are, that they’re not alone, and his eyes drop to John’s lips. John’s mouth opens on a soft breath and James’s cock twitches in his pants. He feels himself sway toward John before he snaps himself back. When he looks back up, John’s eyes are dark, mouth parted, pulse jack hammering in his neck. He has to get out of here. 

“I just remembered I told Margot I’d come by tonight. I’m sure you two can manage to get this contract signed without me.” James pushes his way out of the booth, practically knocking John to the floor in his attempt to get away. He shakes Jason’s hand and walks out without a backward glance. Once he’s in his car, he takes several deep breaths waiting for the shaking in his hands to subside. John maintains his calendar, he’s going to know there’s no appointment with his accountant. James knows he’s just made an ass of himself, there’s nothing he can do about it and he has no excuse to give.

He spends the rest of the evening at home, nursing a glass of scotch and cursing his inadequacies.

***

When John comes through the door the next morning he lays the contract gently on James’s desk. James clears his throat, “It went well then?”

“Yeah, went great. Jason’s not that bad once you get past his bullshit. He’s actually fairly insightful. He made a few suggestions on some cost savings measures. The notes are on the back page. Let me know what you think, if you agree I can send an addendum.” There’s an edge to John’s voice that James isn’t used to, at least not directed at him.

“Great.” He waits for John to turn away before continuing, “I didn’t really have an appointment with Margot.” 

John turns back, arms crossed against his chest, “Yes, I know that. So you want to tell me what that was about last night?”

“I wasn’t feeling well, hadn’t been all day.” James is a shit liar and he knows it.

John starts to say something and then snaps his mouth closed. James tries not to squirm like a naughty child under John’s close scrutiny. “Right, well I’ve got a meeting at city hall.” And with that he’s gone and James feels even more like an ass than he did yesterday.

He rubs his hands over his face. Next Wednesday can’t come soon enough.

***

James shows up at Game On the next week, no John in sight. He sticks to his new pattern, blond hair, dark eyes, as far removed from John as possible. It’s good, it always is. But it's not enough. 

***

James continues to be strung tight through the week, closed off and dickish. John is giving just as good as he gets. He’s short with James, and spends more time away from the office than usual. They know how to push each others buttons and it’s happening almost daily. They spend more time circling one another than actually working.

When John forgets to attach the appendix of a lengthy materials list for a job site plan, James snaps at him to get his shit together. James sees the hurt steal over John’s face before he closes himself off and nods. John spends the rest of the day down in drafting and James spends it kicking himself for being an asshole. 

It’s not John’s fault that James is being eaten by guilt and unsatisfied desire. He got off last Wednesday, but it was empty and didn’t come close to making the ache for John disappear. He’d put the guy on his stomach, a gag in his mouth, lights doused so he didn’t have to see the pale skin and blond hair that wasn’t John. He’d fucked him hard and it hadn’t been even remotely enough. He’d barely been able to get through the aftercare and James knows better than that, he _is_ better than that, and he knows he’s the one that needs to get his shit together.

***

As James is making his rounds at the club that week, he finds no one that interests him. He waits an hour, has a few drinks, and makes polite conversation before deciding that a better plan of action would just be to go home, instead of potentially checking out mentally the way he had last week. He had resigned himself to that decision until he spots John’s curls as they enter the club floor.

He watches John’s eyes dart around the room until they find his. John walks toward him, their eyes locked as he lets the leash uncoil from his fingers. He hooks it to the collar and stops just inches from James.

James pulls him in fast. The kiss is rough, more teeth than finesse, but he’s desperate. John returns the kiss with fervor, biting at James’s bottom lip, nails digging in at his waist. They’re both panting by the time they pull back. 

They all but run up the stairs and John comes to a stop in front of a room with a Y cross. Once inside, he goes straight for a pair of rubber tipped nipple clamps with a connecting chain. James stands back and watches as John selects his toys. 

Next, John picks three small weights and tests them in his hands before putting them next to the clamps. With a sly look, John approaches him, putting his hand over the front of James’s pants. James gasps at the sudden contact and John gives him a filthy look before sinking his teeth into James’s neck. James go hard so fast he almost gets light headed. John strokes along his cock three, four times before stepping backward and pressing himself against the padding on the cross.

James unbuttons John’s shorts, and pushes them down. He buckles John’s wrists into the restraints and then sinks to his knees to remove John’s boots and shorts before attaching the cuffs to John’s ankles. James keeps his eyes trained on John’s face as he licks across the head of John’s cock. John’s eyes fall closed on a moan.

The taste of John bursts across his tongue and James can’t help his own moan. John is thick and heavy in his mouth. He pulls the foreskin back and runs his tongue over the sensitive head. John hisses above him, hips thrusting, cock sliding over James’s palette. James just opens wider, taking John down for several beats before he forces John’s hips flat again.

John looks down, eyes pleading. Getting to his feet, James walks to the cabinet and selects a long handled crop. He returns to John and runs the tip of the crop down the center of his chest and John’s breath stutters out. James brushes the underside of John’s cock with the flat side of the crop. John gasps when James bounces his cock up and down with a light tapping motion. 

With no warning James lays a light slap to John’s balls. John moans, body jerking at the contact as his eyes fall closed. James does it once more before stepping away and laying the crop aside. He picks up the clamps and removes them from their packaging.

He selects a blindfold before walking back to stand in front of John. He holds it up and John nods once. James steps behind him, hands flashing briefly in front of John’s face before he ties the blindfold in place. Stepping back, he pauses before setting his teeth against John’s shoulder blade. John’s body jolts before he settles back and lets James lick across his shoulders.

James lifts John’s hair off his neck and then runs his nose along John’s hairline. He smells like coconut. He licks along the base of John’s skull, the soft short hair there tickling his nose. John sighs softly, his body relaxing, as James digs his fingers into the back of John’s neck in a circular pattern. James files that knowledge away for later use. 

Stepping away again, his footsteps light, James moves to stand in front of John. He’s quiet, not wanting to give his position away. He wants each touch to come as a surprise. He raises his hand slowly and then thumbs John’s right nipple. John gasps and his body goes rigid. The next touch is to the very tip of John’s cock, using a single finger he presses down on the head and then lets it bounce back up, once, twice and then James slaps the shaft and John cries out, hips jutting forward.

James squeezes the head of John’s cock while his mouth latches onto John’s left nipple. John’s body bows, back arching. James sucks and tugs at both of John’s nipples until they’re hard and distended and then he applies the clamps one at a time.

As soon as the first one is attached, John’s body shudders and he cries out, half pain, half pleasure. James blows gently across the surface and John whimpers. He gives John several minutes to get used to the first clamp before he attaches the other. This time it’s accompanied by a low moan and John squirming against the padding behind him. His head tilts back as he sucks in one long measured breath after another, blowing them out slowly. 

James steps away, giving John nothing to concentrate on except his breathing, nothing except the slow crawling arousal he knows is heating John’s blood. He quietly picks up the crop. From an easy distance he lightly slaps the head of John’s cock. John moans low and desperate. The next gentle slap lands in the middle of John’s chest, the chain hanging between his nipples swinging and tugging gently. John hisses out a breath. 

When James looks down John’s cock has a drop of precome pearled at the head. James rubs the flat head of the crop over the slit, John’s hips push forward and he’s rewarded with another slap to the head. 

James loads one of the weights onto the chain between John’s nipples, lets it hang for several seconds before pulling on the chain causing the clamps to tighten and tug at John’s nipples. John is panting, chest rising and falling rapidly, cock rock hard and red at the tip.

Pulling the blindfold free, James drops to his knees. He wants John to see, wants him to watch. James has to taste him, can’t a wait a second longer. He purses his lips around the head, sucking delicately at the slit, coaxing more of the clear fluid onto his tongue. 

James takes the silky weight of John’s cock into his mouth. John thrashes above him, arms pulling at the restraints as he shouts. John is smooth and hot on his tongue, the bitter salty taste of him making James moan in appreciation. John’s hips shove forward, his voice raw as he begs. James moans again, opens wide and takes John deep, feels him hit the back of his throat. James molds his tongue to the underside, curls the tip over the head as John’s hips push forward. 

He encourages John to fuck his mouth as best he can. John does with abandon, hot friction over his lips, John’s balls against his chin. He’s gasping and moaning above James, and when James look up to meets his hot gaze, James can read the desperate edge in John’s eyes.

James sits back on his heels, John’s cock falling from his mouth as John whines. He runs one finger along the underside of John’s cock and watches it pulse and bounce up toward John’s stomach. John is breathing hard, stomach going concave with every exhale. James leans back in, licks around John’s belly button, lets John’s cock rock against his collarbone, feels wetness at the hollow of his throat, the ridge under the head catching on his shoulder. 

He licks down and across to John’s hip, runs the flat of his tongue along the cut there, trails down to the inside of John’s thigh, sucks hard to raise a red welt before moving to the other side. He reaches behind John with one hand, his index fingers sliding softly over John’s hole. He feels the puckered skin spasm against his fingertip when John moans. James taps twice before pulling his hand away.

Standing, he adds another weight to the chain between John’s nipples. John hums at the slight tug, a blissful little smile pulling the corners of his mouth up. James slathers his fingers with slick. Kneeling once more in front of John, he suckles at the head of John’s cock as he rubs two wet fingers over John’s hole. John’s cock jumps in his mouth as John sucks in a harsh breath. 

Two fingers press inside, and John groans, ass sucking him in greedily. James swirls his tongue around John’s cock head, sucks quick and hard, alternating little kitten licks against the hot skin and then scraping the underside with the barest graze of teeth. John’s hips push forward hard, a broken moan on his lips as James sucks harder. John is working himself between the two points, forward into James’s mouth and then back onto James’s fingers. John’s gasping, soft little grunts of pleasure escaping his lips on every exhale.

He feels John get harder against his tongue, feels his cock pulse. He waits another three seconds then pulls his head back and slips his fingers free. John’s cock falls from James’s mouth, his hips thrusting into empty air, John’s desperate whine is the only sound in the room. 

James barely lets him catch his breath before he’s sliding his fingers back in. John gasps loudly as he tries to spread his legs wider even though he knows there is no give in the restraints. James fucks him slowly, pressing in and holding, reaching up to rub back and forth and then another slow slide out. He repeats it over and over as he licks around the head of John’s cock. 

James loses track of time in the taste and the feel and the smell of John. James doesn’t know how long he keeps him there, begging and needy, body shaking as James fucks him at a leisurely pace, suckling at John’s cock. Every few minutes he’ll reach up and tug at the chain connecting John’s nipples and John’s cock will pulse against his tongue. James can’t help but smile. He needs to see John come. He pulls his fingers free gently, gets to his feet and wraps his slick fingers around John’s cock. John moans body pushing into the touch.

They lock eyes as James tightens his fingers, speeds his hand up, “Ask me.”

“Let me come, please, let me come.” He’s so desperate for it, his face pulled tight, eyes ravenous as they meet James’s. 

“You’re such a good boy.” James has to bite his tongue on the _John_ at the end of that sentence that nearly slips free. James goes back to his knees, mouth open before he’s even fully on the floor. 

John slides smoothly over his tongue. James reaches up, tugs the chain between John’s nipples and sucks fiercely at the head of John’s cock, tightening his mouth into a slick hot channel for John to thrust into. James looks up, catches John’s eyes, pulls down on the chain once more and nods. John’s eyes slam shut and his body bows, hips pushing further into James’s mouth as he comes in strong pulses down James’s throat. James uses his tongue to coax John through it, licking over the shaft and laving the head. When he finally pulls back, John’s cock is going soft and he’s making soft little hurt sounds at the over sensitivity. 

James stands and slowly removes the first clamp. John’s nipples are bright red and swollen. He runs his tongue gently over the abused flesh and John’s cock blurts out a last dribble of come as he moans. James removes the other clamp and repeats the motion. John’s body is starting to sag in the restraints and James knows he needs to get him down. 

He unties John’s legs first, rubbing gently over his ankles where the cuffs were situated. Next he unties John’s arms, one at a time, rubbing them the same way. He drapes John’s listless body over his and all but carries him to the couch. James covers them and feeds John sips of water and bites of pre-cut apple slices. He whispers praise into John’s hair as they rest, telling John how good he is, how much he pleases James, how much he misses John when he’s not there.

John starts to feel less like a rag doll lying on top of James with every passing minute. Suddenly he’s up on all fours hovering over James. He looks down, takes in James’s still hard cock, and then looks back up.

“You didn’t come.”

“It doesn’t matter.” And James realizes that it doesn’t. That what he needs most is this. James knows that he could go home without having gotten off and be more satisfied than if he’d had an orgasm with someone else. 

“It does to me.” John undoes the zipper and button and pulls James’s pants down to mid thigh. Slithering down his body, John pushes one of James’s leg off the couch so he has room and then there’s just the barest hint of lips on his cock head. Light pressure, tongue circling, teasing, pressing under the head and stroking the bundle of nerves there. James hears himself moan as his eyes slide closed.

He wants to watch but he’s so ready to explode that if he does, it will be over in seconds. Instead, his fingers tunnel through John’s hair, holding his head. “So good. God, your mouth--” James breaks off on a moan at the light graze of John’s teeth, “You’re so good at this, such a good boy.”

John pulls back, blows warm air across the head of James’s cock and James goes breathless, his cock pulsing. He moans, part in protest and part in pleasure. A shiver runs the length of his spine when John nuzzles against his cock, lips pressing kisses up and down both sides, and the scratch of light stubble is enough to send blazing heat through his groin. 

John loosely circles his cock with just his thumb and forefinger. James pushes into the touch, trying desperately to get some friction. There are two spit slick fingers at his hole and James moans, hips canting as they push inside slowly, it’s so fucking good. James feels himself get harder and then John’s lips are closing around his cock head, tongue licking and probing at the slit, fingers reaching deeper inside him, pushing right fucking there and it’s gonna make him come. 

He sucks hard and James’s cock spasms with shivering pulses as John jerks the shaft with his hand. Jagged shards of pleasure cut through him, body convulsing as he moans low. He can feel the way John’s tongue caresses the underside of his cock as John swallows his come. James’s fingers are tight in John’s hair; he's drawing in huge gulps of air as the rush of heat inside him subsides. John pulls his fingers free and strokes over James’s hole with soft fingers, James hums at how good it feels to be petted. 

When John pulls off, he runs his thumb over his bottom lip, smirking at James the whole time. James growls at him and pulls him into a kiss. He moans at the taste of himself in John’s mouth. He sucks John’s tongue before gentling the kiss and pulling John’s body down against his. John nestles his head under James’s chin and they lay there long enough that James starts to think John has fallen asleep.

James feels John take a breath before he speaks softly, “Sometimes I don’t show up because I want too much.”

“If there’s something you want, all you have to do is ask.” James rubs his fingers into the back of John’s scalp. 

John sighs, “If only it were that simple.”

James concedes and they lay there for another half an hour trading soft lazy kisses until John takes his leave. James spends another ten minutes on his own debating whether or not he should continue coming to the club. He needs the release but he doesn’t know whether it’s helping or furthering his fixation with John. 

John has been a constant in his life for years now, and James knows almost every nuance of his moods. He can tell by the tilt of John’s head each morning whether or not he’d had a sleepless night. He sees his stress level in the set of his shoulders and the lines by his eyes. He knows with no prompting when John needs a break, when he’s frustrated, when he’s angry, when he’s excited for a project. 

And the things he knows now, no employer should ever know. He knows the taste of John’s skin, the sound of his voice when he’s teetering on the edge of orgasm. He knows how pretty John can beg and what his face looks like when he comes. He knows every inch of John’s body, and all the little quirks of his personality. 

James is helplessly in love with him. John embodies everything James had ever looked for in a partner. He contemplates once again coming clean with John, but James knows himself, knows he’s selfish and unwilling to give John up. He tries not to let the guilt eat him alive.


	5. A little flesh a litte history

Summer slides into fall and before James knows it, it’s been four months since his first encounter with John. Every Wednesday John shows up without fail, and every Wednesday James loses himself in John’s body. He’s managed to put his guilt on a back burner in favor of using their continually growing closeness to foster his physical and working relationship with John. 

They’re more in sync than they’ve ever been. James can see and feel the difference between them, there’s an underlying current that colors their every interaction. James hears how flirtatious he’s become with John. His touch has begun to linger during their working hours. What were once innocent grazes on John's hand, or shoulder, have turned into the promise of something more. And much to his surprise, John has begun reciprocating. The promise of seeing John, being so close to him, hearing his voice, smelling him, has James looking forward to the start of his day more than ever. The downside, however, is that James is falling deeper in love with John every day.

They’re sitting side by side at James’s desk on a Thursday morning, knees pressed together as they look over plans, when John gets a phone call. Karen Pace has had a stroke and John is still listed as her emergency contact. John starts to gather his coat, looks for his keys in a hurry, turning in circles until James lays a hand on his arm.

“Let me drive you.” James says gently. John can only nod, face the very picture of devastation. 

The drive to the hospital is spent in silence, John staring out the window as his left hand runs up and down his pants leg before curling his fingers into the loose material tightly. James tries to draw him into conversation. “You didn’t know she still had you listed as her emergency contact.”

John shakes his head, “Why didn’t she tell me?” There’s such anguish in his voice, that James finds himself reaching over to put his hand over John’s to offer comfort. John turns his hand over and slides his fingers through James’s. James looks over at the same time that John turns to him and John gives him a half smile as he squeezes once before releasing James’s hand. John relaxes back into his seat for the rest of the ride. 

James and John are greeted in the Emergency Room by Eva, one of the people on Karen’s part-time cleaning staff. She had found Karen on the bedroom floor that morning when she’d gone in to tidy up. The only phone number Eva had was John’s as Karen had never married and never had children. 

James is slightly in awe of the precision in which John can slide his own grief to the side to comfort someone else. John convinces Eva to go home on the promise that he’ll keep her updated on what’s happening. Once Eva leaves, John contacts Karen’s sister, Sophia, who lives in Philadelphia to give her the news. 

A hospital aide comes by with a clipboard, more questions than answers, but in the volley of back and forth, John learns that his power of attorney for Karen is still valid and that she has a _Do Not Resuscitate_ order. John can’t immediately hide the horrified shock from his features and the aide looks slightly chagrined. She hands John a copy of the order and leaves quickly.

John looks at James like a lost kid in the mall and James wants nothing more than to be able to pull him close and comfort him the way a lover should. For now, the best he can do is take the order from John’s hand, read it himself and tuck it into his jacket pocket. He tells John they’ll go over it later.

They sit side by side in hard plastic chairs in the emergency room waiting area. John’s leg is jiggling nonstop, his eyes staring blankly at the wall in front of him. Without prompting he starts talking.

“I met Karen when I was seventeen. I had tried to run a con on her but she was wise to it from the start. She actually led me on for several weeks before calling me into her office one day and offering me a legitimate job,” John said with a short laugh. “I turned her down flat. I was a hard street kid, I didn’t need a nine to five, I’d get by just fine.” James turns to look at John and there’s a bittersweet smile on his face. As polished as he is now, James would have never guessed that John had tried to con Karen Pace. There’s a swell of intrigue and admiration deep within him. 

“She waited me out. A month later I went back and asked if the offer still stood. I was tired of sleeping in rat infested motel rooms and eating day old pastries for dinner. I spent fifteen years with her. She talked me into getting my GED. She sent me to college. She taught me so much. She was more a mother to me than my own ever was.” John paused, caught in his memories. 

“I bet you didn’t know that I still have dinner with her every Monday, 8:30 sharp. She never took no for answer.“ James did actually know, he’d made it his business to know why John was unavailable to him on Monday evenings. Once he’d found out he’d never questioned it again. 

John goes still next to him as a nurse comes into the waiting room.

“Family for Pace.” They stand in unison and she motions them to follow her. They’re led to a conference room just past several curtained off rooms and are told that the doctor will be in shortly for a consultation.

John won’t sit, instead he paces the small room until James can’t take it any longer. He pulls John down beside him, placing his hand gently on the back of John’s neck, rubbing small circles into his hairline. John closes his eyes and leans into the touch. James can feel John’s heart racing against his thumb, then feels it gradually start to slow with John’s deep even breaths.

His short reprieve is shattered when the doctor walks in. He shakes hands with both John and James, introduces himself as Dr. Jeffery Skern, and then starts in on Karen’s diagnosis.

“Ms. Pace suffered a large vessel thrombotic stroke. We’re uncertain exactly how long her brain was without oxygen, so we can’t predict how severe the damage is, or how long her recovery will take. We’ll know more once she’s awake and we can assess her further. For now, she’s in the ICU. We’re hoping she’ll wake within the next twenty four hours. Do you have any questions?”

John’s only question is if he can see her. Dr. Skern tells them to wait there and he’ll send a nurse in to take them to her room. James rises as if to give John some privacy but John grabs his wrist in a tight grip and gives James one shake of his head. 

A few short minutes later a nurse comes in and leads them to the ICU through a maze of hallways and doors that James knew he’d never be able to remember. He’d have thought that owning a hospital design/build firm would come in handy, apparently not. 

They pass through a set of automatic double doors to enter the ICU. Once the doors close behind them, the nurse points to a second set of doors on the other end of the hallway that lead to the ICU visitors waiting room. She informs them of the visiting hours and says they’re more than welcome to stay there during non visiting hours if they’d like.

The nurse leads them further into the ICU where they can see the private rooms fanned out from a central nurses station. James watches John pause and take a deep breath before approaching the door to Karen’s room. It glides almost silently open and then closed behind them.

James’s father had been DOA so he’d had no need to visit a hospital. Quite frankly, he’s shocked at the number of tubes and hoses coming out of and going into Karen's body. He can’t imagine how jolting that must be for John to see. He looks around at the half a dozen machines taking up every available space and he can’t fathom how they manage to pack so much stuff into such a tiny space. 

When he looks back to John, he’s taken a seat in the small blue recliner next to the bed and is holding Karen’s hand, speaking softly to her. James backs up closer to the door to give him more privacy. John leans his head against the railing of Karen’s bed and James can see the tears falling from his eyes. He steps behind John and lays a hand on his shoulder. 

For the remainder of visiting hours, they alternate between sitting with Karen, taking short breaks in the cafeteria, and sitting in the ICU waiting room. John takes several calls from Sophia throughout the day asking for updates. James continues to be surprised at, and admire, John’s ability to keep his emotions in check. James can distinctly remember more than one break down he’d had after his father had died. 

That evening, James drives John home and John insists that he come up. James is more than curious, he knows he pays John well, but he didn’t know he paid him well enough to live in John Hancock Center.

John lives on the sixty second floor of the second tallest building in the city in a corner unit, and James lets out a low whistle when John opens the door. The view is spectacular from the second they cross the threshold. John’s phone rings as soon as they close the door and James walks to the wall of windows to take in the Chicago skyline and giving John a bit of privacy. He hears John end the call, and before he can turn John’s hand comes to rest on the small of his back. James feels the touch like a shock. His nerve endings coming alive, his blood heating. 

“Gorgeous view,” he says to distract himself from John’s proximity.

“Karen gave me an exceptionally generous severance package. I tried to turn it down but she just had it deposited to my bank account the next day.” James can hear the exasperation and undisguised fondness in John’s voice. James feels incredibly petty being jealous of an eighty seven year old woman on death's door. 

“Thank you for today.” John’s voice is soft and subdued, more intimate than the setting calls for, and James can’t keep his eyes to himself. He turns his head, taking in John’s profile. The downward tilt of his lips and the slump of his shoulders make James want take all of John’s pain and sadness into himself. His eyes sweep down the graceful line of John’s throat, across his shoulders and back up. 

“You know if there's anything I can do—” John nods and turns to him. 

“It’s late, do you want to stay? I have a guest room. Two of them actually.” It’s on the tip of his tongue to say no. He needs to say no, make his excuses and get out of the way of temptation. But the look in John’s eyes is pleading, and James can’t deny him.

What he says instead is, “If you’re sure it’s no trouble. I am kind of wiped out and not looking forward to a trek out to the burbs.” James could never bring himself to live in the city. His father never had, and he had just followed that tradition. He knows it would be easier, but he loves his house and he can’t see giving it up. But this view sure as hell makes him think about it.

John smiles at him, pulling him by the arm to follow. He stops at the second door on the left, immediately across from a door on the right. “This is the room that will be closest to the luxury with which you’re accustomed.” He says it with a half tilted smile, eyes laughing at James. 

“Ass.” James says just before opening the door. There’s a four poster queen bed against the opposite wall. The side walls are painted a deep forest green, the back and near wall painted tan. The bedding is plush, several shades of green deeper than the walls, with light green accent pillows. It’s sparsely furnished, just an ornately carved six drawer dresser with matching nightstand tables. It’s classic and elegant, much like he’d seen in the rest of the condo so far. James almost feels badly for coming in to make a mess of it.

John leans against the door frame as James ventures further into the room. He points to a door on the left, “En suite is through there, towels in the cabinet. I can get you a pair of sweats to sleep in but they’ll probably be too short.”

James is flipping on the light in the bathroom and without thinking says, “I sleep naked.” John’s quick indrawn breath has him realizing what he’d said. “I won’t here, of course.”

He hears John clear his throat, voice a shade deeper when he replies, “Feel free, the bedding will be washed regardless.”

After James’s inspection of the bathroom he turns to find John snapping his eyes up from what James thinks may have been his ass. John jerks his thumb over his shoulder, “I’m right across the hall if you need anything.”

He makes no move to leave, shoulder still leaning against the door frame, hip popped out, eyes scanning James as he walks closer. “Nightcap?” John asks.

James can only nod, eyes taking in the way John’s body moves as he pushes off the doorframe.

“Let me change and find you a pair of pants.” He says as he opens the door to the room across the hall. 

James is half a step from telling John he changed his mind. This is a terrible idea, being here surrounded by everything John. Everything smells and looks like him. John is relaxed and comfortable and James is going to lose his goddamn mind if he spends the night here. He heads back to the living room and paces back and forth intending to tell John he’s going to go when John comes back. 

He hears him first, the soft pad of bare feet on hardwood, and when he comes around the corner James has to bite the inside of his cheek to keep from groaning out loud. John’s in a pair of light blue plaid sleep pants riding low on his hips, cuffs dragging the ground, and a fitted white tank top that does nothing to hide the perfect definition of his abdomen or camouflage the strong muscles of his shoulders and biceps. His hair is loose around his shoulders and there is a pair of wire rimmed glasses perched on his nose. 

It’s like he walked straight out of one of James’s fantasies and into this living room. All thoughts of leaving instantly vanish as John brandishes a whiskey bottle and two tumblers.

John settles himself cross legged on one end of the leather couch, back resting against the arm. He motions James to sit and James complies. John pours them each two fingers of Johnny Walker Blue and then proceeds to down his glass in one quick gulp.

“This is sipping whiskey you know.” James motions to John’s empty glass. John just shrugs his shoulders and pours himself another drink. This one he drinks slowly.

They spend a good hour and a half on the couch. James eventually discards his shoes and unbuttons half the buttons on his dress shirt. The whiskey makes him warm and relaxed and he can feel the flush of it in his cheeks. At first he doesn’t notice the low level hum of arousal he’d been nursing until John leans backward over the arm of the couch to stretch his back. John lets loose a low moan of relief as his back pops, the sound sizzles along James’s skin, making him half hard. When John pushes his arms further above his head, elongating his torso, his shirt rides up and James can just barely make out the top of the mark he’d left on John’s hipbone just yesterday.

His mouth goes dry and his stomach seizes, the whiskey churning hot like fire in his belly. In his mind he sees himself folding forward, climbing between John’s legs, wrapping John’s thighs around his hips, and pushing John’s shirt up to get at skin. He imagines himself licking across John’s stomach and up his throat to take John’s mouth in a whiskey flavored kiss. 

He wants to lay John out on this couch and rub their bodies together until they’re both sweaty and panting and covered in each other’s come. John’s been asking for it every week at the club. Begging James to fuck him, telling James how badly he wants to feel James inside him, yet James continues to deny him. It's something James can’t bring himself to do with the mask in place. 

James’s cock pulses in his pants and he realizes with a start that he’s fully hard and leaking at just the thought of having John under his hands and mouth. The worst part isn’t the wanting; that James is used to. The worst part is that he knows how John’s body would feel against his. He knows what he’d sound like, what he'd taste like. He knows exactly the way John would respond. He knows that all he’d have to do would be to lean forward three feet and he could have John, right here, right now. He knows John would let him. He knows it as sure as he knows his own name. But he also knows he can’t, not now, not when they’re both more drunk than sober, not with what John is going through. 

James practically slams his glass onto the coffee table, startling them both. It’s past time he went to bed. “Well I’m beat, think I’ll turn in.”

John agrees and he follows James down the hall, turning lights off behind him. When they get to James’s door, John again leans against the frame, his eyes cast down. “Thank you again. For staying, for driving me, for keeping me company.” 

When he looks back up at James, John’s eyes are electric blue, pupils enlarged, mouth wet and open, cheeks flushed from the alcohol. James feels himself sway forward, nose brushing against John’s cheek. He hears John’s sharp intake of breath, and then the soft sigh that he’s heard every single time they’ve been together. It’s a sign of John’s own arousal, the same sound he makes right before he falls headlong into James.

And like a sharp slap in the face, it brings James back to reality; to the fact that he’s been lying to John for months, but that having him now, this way, would be the biggest lie of all. 

Just as John starts to lift his face, James swallows hard and steps back saying, “Anytime. That’s what friends are for.” John’s eyes snap to his with a simmering fire that James doesn’t understand.

“Right. Well, good night then.” With tense shoulders, John turns away without a backward glance. James opens his mouth to call him back but what’s he going to say? James rubs both hands over his face. He needs to make a decision; tell John the truth or leave the club. He can’t keep going like this. 

He takes the frustration out on his cock in the shower, it only takes the image of John bent over that couch and the sound he’d made to have James coming hard and fast across the tiles. When he walks out into the bedroom there are a pair of plain grey sweat pants on the bed. 

Between the hot shower, the orgasm, and the whiskey it doesn’t take long for James to fall asleep. His dreams are filled with every version of John he knows, all of them teasing him, telling James to follow him and they’ll give him what he wants. James chases him down long corridors always three steps behind, never able to catch him.

He’s jolted awake by a hand on his shoulder. A look at the clock shows its two seventeen am, he’s instantly awake when he sees John’s face in the light shining in from the hall. His eyes are wet, face drawn.

“What’s happened?”

“Karen had a massive heart attack, and with the DNR...” John trails off biting the corner of his lip, tears rolling down his face. James reaches out and pulls John into him. 

Stroking his hand through John’s hair, he says, “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, John.”

John cries silently, tears wetting down James’s chest as John’s shoulders shake. Eventually it starts to taper off, and John’s body gets heavy against his, the phone he’s holding falls from his fingers, his breath fluttering softly against James’s collarbone. John is mostly asleep, so James pulls him flat, curls his body around John’s as if by doing so he can take on some of the pain and anguish that John is feeling. He falls back asleep with John’s hair tickling his cheek and the smell of John’s shampoo in his nose, one arm folded over John’s waist to keep him close.

The next time he wakes, there’s light streaking through the drapes and John is curled on his side, head tucked under James’s chin, one leg situated between James’s. James slips out of bed as quietly as possible. He calls Tiffany and tells her they won’t be in, to check their schedules and to move everything to late next week, there’s been a family emergency and they’re not available. James knows that John will balk at the rescheduling of all of their appointments, but he’s going to have to get over it. There is no way in hell James is leaving John to deal with this on his own. 

By the time John comes shuffling down the hall, James has made a pot of coffee and located the ingredients for breakfast. He’s cracking eggs into a bowl when John says, “I’m sorry for last night.”

“There’s nothing to be sorry for. I’m a friend, you experienced a loss. It’s what friends do.” John looks at him for a couple of long minutes before nodding his head.

“Have you talked to Karen’s sister?” James asks over his shoulder.

“I called her last night, before...” He trails off and waves a hand between them, cheeks tinging pink. “Her flight isn’t until today. The hospital said I needed to call a mortuary to have Karen’s body moved, but I don’t know what she wanted. I don’t know what to do.”

James sets the bowl and whisk on the counter. John is the most capable man James has ever met. One of the strongest, most intelligent people James has ever had the pleasure of working with, and to hear him sound so completely and utterly lost is unsettling. It only enforces his decision to stay with John so he’s not handling this on his own.

James comes around the island and sits next to John. “I assume you know who her attorney is?” John nods and James continues. “Call him first. He’ll have all the answers you need. She’s bound to have a will, and, I would imagine, detailed instructions as to what she wants to have done with her remains. All you have to do is connect the dots. But first, you need to eat something.” James clasps John’s shoulder, squeezing once before going back around to the other side of the island.

“James, you have meetings today,” John says with a sigh.

“You are in fact wrong. I had Tiffany move everything off our schedules to the end of next week. Family emergency.” James turns back to the stove, pours the whipped eggs into the skillet and takes up the whisk again.

“You're supposed to meet with Planning and Zoning tomorrow for Remand. If you don’t go, you won’t be able to see them until next month, and that’s going to push the entire project over budget and throw off the whole time line.” John lets out an exasperated sigh. Quietly, he continues, “I can handle this. I just...I just have to get my head around it.”

“If you think I’m leaving you to deal with this alone, you’re fucking crazy.” James turns back to John softening his tone. “I’ve been where you are, I know where your head is, and you need someone, and that someone is going to be me.” James stops short a thought occurring to him that he’d never considered, “Unless there’s someone else you’d rather call.” Maybe John does have someone. Maybe there’s someone that he goes to when he’s not at the club. 

“There isn’t. But I don’t want you to put your life on hold.” James refrains from being a sap and telling him that John is his life. 

“When news gets out that Karen has died, you’re going to be inundated with calls. Calls you don’t need and shouldn’t have to deal with right now. Many of them will go to our office, and Tiff can field them, but some will come to you personally. Now, maybe you’re ready for those calls, but in the event that you’re not, you need someone to back you up, and I know how. Let me help you.”

John lets the argument drop. James cooks them breakfast and as soon as Larry Thruman’s office is open, John gets him on speaker phone.

He tells John that Karen wanted to be cremated and only a small memorial service. Larry gives all the information to John so that he can provide it to the hospital when he signs the release for Karen’s body. Before they hang up Larry drops a bombshell.

“John, you’re the major benefactor of Karen’s will. I can’t tell you much more before the actual reading, but you should prepare yourself.”

John looks at James after they disconnect the call, “What does that mean?”

James rubs his hand over the back of his neck, “If I had to hazard a guess I’d say she’s left you the company. Or her shares, and she’s the majority shareholder.” The absolute panic that passes over John’s face is enough to have James continuing, “We don’t need to worry about it right now. We just need to get through each day.”

John nods, but he’s distracted for hours, mind no doubt reeling.

They pick Karen’s sister up at the airport later that afternoon. She says one last goodbye at the mortuary and then plans are being made for the memorial service and the reading of Karen’s will.

Through it all John is stoic and distant, until later that night when he stops at the liquor store and picks up two bottles of cheap vodka. 

“If you’re only drinking to forget, never use the good stuff.” He proceeds to drink until his eyes cross. James lets him, but keeps a close watch on how much he’s had. When John’s eyes start to droop, James puts him to bed. When he turns to go, John’s arm shoots out and grabs him by the wrist. “Stay.”

Against his better judgment he curls himself around John once more. 

The next day, John’s phone starts ringing off the hook. James had been right. As soon as news of Karen’s death hit the press, John is barraged with calls. Calls from the press, from business associates, from people who claim to be friends. John is overwhelmed and eventually James takes John’s phone away from him, shuts it off and puts it in a drawer. James gives Karen’s lawyer his number in the event he needs to speak to John. 

Karen’s memorial service is the Monday following her death. She’d wanted it to be quick and quiet and she got exactly that. The reading of her will a day later stuns John. She left all of her interest in Pace to him. John is now the majority stockholder for Pace Industries. She left Sophia her condo in Chicago, her house in Paris, her retreat in Bora Bora and thirteen and a half million dollars.

The board of Pace tries to call an emergency shareholders meeting the next day but James uses every bit of influence he has and blocks it. John is in no condition to deal with the vultures on Pace’s board. 

That Wednesday, James is so engrossed in John’s life, in helping him settle Karen’s affairs, that he doesn’t even miss the club. He doesn’t dwell on the fact that he’s still sleeping in John’s bed, John’s body curling into his after he collapses each night from fatigue and exhaustion and more liquor than any one person should drink. 

They both go back to work on the Thursday following Karen’s service. John says he wants some normalcy and moping around his apartment isn’t going to give him that. James goes back to sleeping at his own house and John is more or less back to normal. 

James admits to himself that he misses the heat and feel of John pressed up against him in the night. He’d gotten used to the way John would insert himself into James’s space, he’d gotten used to John’s soft snuffling little snores in his ear, he’d gotten used to the smell of John permeating every inch of his body. 

James talks briefly about the possibility of needing to find a new assistant again since John is going to have his hands full, John shoots that down quickly. “I’m not ready to run that company. I don’t even know if I even want to. I just...I don’t want to make any changes yet.” It winds John up, makes him slightly manic thinking about the weight of it all. James can see the panic in his eyes. James concedes, saying they’ll talk about it later. 

***

When Wednesday rolls around again, James debates not going to the club. Instead, he offers to take John to dinner. John declines saying he has plans. He won’t meet James’s eyes when he says it and he’s been jittery all day. James briefly wonders if he has a date, but James can’t think of how he’d have had time to meet someone in the last two weeks.

When John shows up at the club just shortly after he arrives, James is slightly confused. John finds him minutes later, eyes dark. He latches onto James, pulls him down into a desperate kiss that’s sloppy and off center before pulling back and searching James’s eyes. 

“I need you to fuck me, and if you won’t, someone else will. Please. I need out of my head.”

“Have you been drinking?” James searches John’s eyes for any signs of intoxication.

“No.” Satisfied that John is telling the truth, James takes his hand and leads him to one of the general purpose rooms. He pulls the curtain closed, blocking off the entire room. If James is going to cross this line, he’s going to do it in private, just the two of them. 

John all but attacks him when he turns around, lips biting, tongue invading his mouth, his hands going straight to the button on James’s pants. There’s a tremor in John's fingers and James pulls back. John meets his eyes and there’s so much emotion staring back at him—hurt, anger, hunger, fear. 

James leads him to the couch and lays John out before covering John’s body with his own. He kisses John’s mouth first, chastely, just lips on lips. Every time John tries to deepen the kiss James pulls back, places soft kisses elsewhere; his eyes, his cheeks, his nose, his chin. John’s hands are still trying to get at James’s pants, James takes John’s arms and drapes them over his shoulders.

Once John relaxes, James kisses him again, languidly, his tongue barely tracing the seam of John’s lips. A soft tug to John’s bottom lip has John’s mouth opening on a sigh. James’s tongue traces the underside of John’s. John spreads his legs wider, one foot going to the floor. James settles his hips into the cradle of John’s thighs and it feels so good. They’re both half hard and the friction of them gently rubbing together is delicious. It sends heat spiraling through him. 

Every touch wrings a sound from John. A moan when James nips just beneath his chin, a hiss of breath when James thumbs a nipple, a whimper when James ruts his hips down, grinding their cocks together.

They lay there for a long time, just kissing and touching, making out like teenagers. John’s hands skate over James’s back, drawing patterns with the softest of touches, raising goosebumps everywhere he touches. John’s hips are lifting into his in a slow grind that is both completely satisfying and completely maddening. John’s body is easy under him now, muscles relaxed, turned on and just the right side of restless. He hums into James’s mouth every time their tongues touch and he sighs his pleasure at every stroke of James’s hand on his body. James loves how sensual John is like this. He can feel John’s cock straining against the leather of his shorts when James brushes a hand down to cup him. John’s head goes back on a long moan, body bucking, “Please.”

James isn’t prepared to make him wait any longer. He gets up and brings the lube, baby wipes, and condoms back to the couch. He pulls John up to stand. Dropping to his knees, he unlaces John’s boots. He removes them and his socks, John using his shoulder for balance. James kisses the insides of both knees before he pops the button on John’s shorts, after pulling down the zipper he frees both of John’s legs and lays the shorts over John’s boots. He nuzzles John’s cock, sucks his sac into his mouth briefly, John begging the entire time, his fingers skidding over the leather mask James wears.

James lays him back down, strips himself perfunctorily and then kneels on the couch between John’s spread legs. James runs his hands across John’s torso, thumbs catching and flicking at his nipples. He rubs over John’s stomach, he loves the way it quivers under his hands. He traces a line across John’s hips, avoiding his cock, but gently tugging on his balls. John hisses and jerks into the touch. James skates his short nails down the insides of John’s thighs and John shivers as goosebumps break out over his skin. He leans in to press hot, wet open mouthed kisses to John’s neck, relishes the quake of John’s body he gets in return. James presses his dry thumb against John’s hole, John pushes into the touch, a tiny moan escaping him. He works the tip against John, plying, teasing, stroking until John is begging.

“Want it?” James asks hotly.

“God yes.” It's more moan than actual words.

James reaches out with the other hand and pumps slick into his palm, running his fingers through it, wetting them. He slides his fingers over John’s hole and John makes a breathy gritty sound, his hips moving into the touch. James puts two of his fingers together and slowly works them in one inch at a time.

Folding forward, James licks at John’s hammering pulse, chasing the taste of him down John’s neck, and sucks at the base of his throat. He bites across John’s collarbone, fingers working steadily in John’s ass. James flexes and pulls, dragging his fingertips all over the inside of John’s body. John clenches down on him, hips pushing and bucking trying to get James to move faster. James curls his fingers, reaches deep and then John shouts, back bowing, body shivering as he fucks down against James’s hand, breath panting out fast.

“Fuck me. I want your cock, please. Please.” John begs.

James pulls his fingers free slicking his cock briefly before putting on the condom. He pumps a little more lube into his fist, strokes himself a few times before pushing forward. He watches John’s body parting around him, eyes glued to the spot where they connect, feels John’s body greedily trying to pull him deeper. John sucks in a sharp breath, hands clutching at James’s thighs.

John shivers, body twisting and pressing restlessly. James moans as John moves against him, palms pressed to James’s hips, so hot where they skid across his damp skin, his nails digging in, pulling James closer. Electricity arcs down James’s spine when John’s ass clenches down on him. All his plans to go easy fly out the window.

James hangs his head, gasping out a breath as he slams home and holds himself still, cock throbbing deep inside John’s body. They’re pressed so tight together, almost breathing as one. The involuntary clench of John’s ass has them both moaning. He’s so hot inside, so tight around James that he can’t catch his breath, the feeling of John around him buzzes up his spine setting his brain on fire. John wiggles his hips, just a little circle and then his legs fall open further, he pushes up and James slides deeper. James moans, presses his forehead to John’s chest as he hitches his hips in a faltering rhythm. 

“So good. Such a good boy, so hot, spread wide open for me.” James whispers, voice thick.

He rolls his hips, pulls out, feels John’s body pull at him before pressing back in quickly. John arches under him, his head goes back as he pants; one hand clutching at James’s hip trying to keep him close, the other fisted in the fabric at the top of the couch, eyes closed as pleasure washes over him. 

James could watch him all day like a television program that he would never tire of. He’s flushed and sweating, chest rising and falling with panted breath, stomach muscles contracting as he meets James thrust for thrust. James can’t stop watching the sinuous rock of John’s body, the way his eyes squeeze shut before flying open again to look at James. He loves the heat and need deep in John’s gaze, wants to drown in it.

He cants his hips, John’s shattered voice rasping out a desperate _yes_ has him moving faster, dragging right over where John needs him. His heart is thudding in his chest, both of them moving together in the perfect rhythm, John’s hips lifting in counter, faster and faster, the noise of their bodies coming together mingles with the harsh sound of their breathing.

He can feel it building between them, hear it in the increasing pitch of John’s cries as James fucks in harder each time. He reaches for John’s cock, gets his fingers wrapped tight around him. John claws at his shoulders, fingers sliding over slick flesh, his mouth opens on a wail, voice guttural, body going tight and hard before almost folding over himself as his cock spills thickly over James’s fingers. He’s shaking, body locked down on James, hips jerking with every aftershock before he sinks back into the couch, body sated.

John wraps his legs over James’s hips, lifts himself into James’s ragged thrusts. James folds forward, mouth finding John’s neck, teeth sinking into flesh, pulling at skin. He’s teetering on the brink, pleasure so acute it’s almost painful. James shoves in one last time, feels John squeezing down around him and it’s like an explosion, every nerve contracting, white hot ecstasy spiraling from the pit of his stomach. His thighs tremble, body going tight, pleasure spreading through every empty space inside him as he pulses hotly into the condom. 

John’s hands stroke over his back as he presses kisses to James’s shoulder. He gentles James the same way James has done for him so many times. James feels the thickness in his throat, feels emotion welling inside him, and he clamps his lips together. This was so much more than just sex for both of them. He feels it in the gentle way John’s fingertips press against his spine, in the way John rubs his cheek against the top of his head. He knows he needs to get up, deal with the condom, clean them both up. He’d rather just lay here in the circle of John’s arms, bodies pressed together, sweat cooling on their skin. James buries his nose in John’s neck, reluctant to leave the perfect cocoon they’ve made.

He presses a kiss to the already purpling mark he just left and sits back on his heels, pulling out slowly. John makes a noise in the back of his throat when James slips free but says nothing.

James can feel John watching him as he throws away the condom and then pulls a handful of wipes from the container. He wipes John down carefully and then does the same to himself. John motions him down and he slides back into the cradle of John’s thighs. He pulls the blanket over them. James lays with his head directly over John’s heart. He listens to the slowing rhythm and a wistfulness the likes of which he’s never known washes over him.

He has no choice but to tell John the truth now. James had crossed the only line he’d set for himself. He doesn’t know what the outcome will be. He only hopes that John will forgive him.


	6. Whose every move is among the purest

The next day, James leaves his mask lying front and center on John’s desk as he waits for John to come in. He sits at his own desk trying to work but he’s failing spectacularly. James is past the point where he can continue lying. John needs to hear the truth and James will just have to deal with the fallout. 

John comes through the door with a wide smile that freezes on his face when he sees the mask lying on his desk. He runs his fingers over it softly before picking it up and waving it at James, “If I had known I just needed to get you to fuck me in order for you to finally tell me the truth, I’d have done it months ago.”

James feels his mouth drop open in shock before quickly snapping it shut as he watches John sink into the chair in front of his desk. John’s still holding the mask, fingers stroking over it where it lays in his lap.

“You knew?” James is incredulous.

John only nods.

“For how long?”

“I was fairly sure that first night. Your behavior the next day cemented it. You were so fucking nervous and guilty. God, the guilt on your face every time you looked at me nearly broke me.” John sighs before continuing, “It’s why I didn’t show back up at the club for weeks.” John looks up and pins James with a soft gaze. “I’ve worked with you for four years James, did you really think I wouldn’t know every nuance of your voice by now, even as hard as you tried to disguise it? Did you think I wouldn’t know the touch of your hand, the color of your eyes? Did you think I’d miss any of the million other clues that told me it was you?”

“Why didn’t you say anything?” James bristles.

“Why didn’t you?” John shoots back, eyes going hard before softening once more. 

James nods, “Fair enough.” James leans forward in his chair. “I crossed a line last night that I never intended to cross. I wanted the first time, if there was one, to be something else, somewhere else. I never wanted it to be there, but there was no way I was going to let anyone else near you in the frame of mind you were in.”

John nods and then clarifies, “I wouldn’t have asked anyone else. Despite what I said, I only wanted you. I had to do something, I’d been sleeping next to you, waking up hard because my bed smelled like you. I wanted you too much to let you tell me no again.” John sighs, eyes cast down. “So, what now?” 

James looks at him, eyes searching his face, “You’re not angry?”

“Of course I was! In the beginning I felt betrayed, you knew it was me, and for all you knew I had no idea who you were.” John crosses his arms over his chest. “And then I watched the guilt eat away at you. You barely came near me anymore, and every time I touched you, you nearly jumped out of your skin. And I realized that my entire reason for going to the club was because I was trying to get over my attraction to you in the first place. I realized that if you were willing to have me, knowing it was me, then on some level you obviously wanted me too. I couldn’t stay angry. I was just as afraid of confronting you as you were of me.”

James stands and goes around his desk to pull John from the chair. He cups the side of John’s face in his palm, “I’m sorry.” James waits a beat, “Would you like to have dinner with me?” 

John’s face slides into a soft smile, “Very much.”

They agree that James will pick John up on Saturday at four thirty. John had come in a few weeks ago showing him pictures that a friend had sent him from a local restaurant, Alinea. He’d said he’d tried to get a reservation but they were booked solid three months in advance. James plans to pull some strings and get them a five o’clock seating as a surprise.

The next two days are surreal for James. He no longer has to pretend that his interest in John is strictly professional. Now that he can look without fear of reprisal, he finds himself staring at John off and on throughout the day. Every time John catches him, John just shakes his head with a grin. 

His eyes trace the gentle curve of John’s throat. He openly admires the narrowness of John’s waist, and the breadth of his shoulders. He find himself touching the small of John’s back as he precedes James from a room. On one occasion he goes so far as to run his hand up the back of John’s thigh as he stood at James’s desk. John’s sentence had trailed off and his eyes had fallen closed with a soft breathy exhale of James’s name.

His imagination runs wild. Before, he’d never allowed himself to picture them fucking in this office. But now, he thinks about climbing under John’s desk and sucking his cock while John sits there trying to act normal. He pictures John riding him on the couch in the corner, the leather sticking to them, he imagines the sounds John would make as he sank down on James’s cock. He thinks about stripping John from the waist down, pushing him up against the wall of windows at the back of their office and getting his tongue deep inside John’s ass, licking into him until John’s legs give out and he’s sitting on James’s face, so wet with James’s spit that it’s running down his thighs and wetting down James’s beard.

They’re in the conference room on Friday, finalizing plans for the Mauer Medical Building, surrounded by contractors and hospital administrators. John’s lining out each stage of construction and James can’t keep his eyes off of John’s mouth. James has no idea what John’s saying and he hopes no one is looking to him for answers or confirmation because all he can think about is how badly he wants to get John under him. It’s only been two days since he’s fully touched John, but he can barely contain himself. He can’t wait until he can spread John out on a bed, both of them naked, and that fucking mask gone forever, nothing between them. 

James is jostled out of his fantasy when he realizes that everyone is gathering their things and beginning to leave. He focuses on John across the room but John remains focused on the people filing out of the room. John waits until everyone has left before he crosses to the door and turns the lock. He flips the button for the automatic blinds, and once they’re fully closed, he stalks across the room, planting himself in James’s lap.

He fists both hands in James’s hair and kisses him hard, tongue shoving into James’s mouth, licking every surface, making James whimper with the aggressiveness of it. He tugs James’s head back, bites hard at his adam’s apple. He rocks his hips back and forth against James’s thickening cock as he licks up the side of James’s neck. 

When John pulls back, his lips are wet and swollen. His hands slide under James’s jacket, thumbs rubbing over James’s nipples, making them pebble. “Every time I looked at you, all I could think about was how good your cock had felt inside me. How empty I’d been afterward.” 

John sits back, rubs his ass all over James’s cock. John’s eyes slips closed, he pulls his bottom lip into his mouth, teeth sinking into the pink flesh as he hums. When he opens his eyes again they’re almost black. “You’d do it again right here, right now, wouldn’t you? A hundred and fifty people outside that door and you don’t even care. You’d let me ride you just like this wouldn’t you?”

James is panting, blood pounding through his veins. His hands go to John’s pants, “Yes, if that’s what you want.”

John stills his hands, he gives James one last biting kiss before answering, “Don’t fucking look at me like that when we’re in a goddamn meeting.” 

John’s gone from his lap as quickly as he arrived, and James is left stunned and aroused, cock aching. He spends the rest of the afternoon with a smile he can’t get rid of. It’s nice to finally be on the same page.

On Saturday, James is more nervous than he’s ever been. There are so many things that could go wrong, so many things that could ruin what they have before it even starts. James knows that even if it goes well, there are a multitude of problems they’re going to have to address; namely, John’s position in Flint Group. James knows that the board will be unhappy with James and John dating while John is a direct report. It’s not a discussion he’s looking forward to having, but one he knows they’ll have to have regardless. And then there’s the matter of the shares he inherited from Karen, and the fact that Pace Industries board continues to hound John on a daily basis. They’ve gone so far as to show up at their office before James had promptly escorted them to the door.

All his worries fly out the window when John opens the door to him. John’s hair is down, spilling across his shoulders in thick waves. He’s wearing a white button down, the top three buttons open, charcoal slacks and a matching jacket. He looks good enough to be the meal. James has to keep himself from suggesting they skip dinner entirely.

“You look incredible.” 

John looks down at himself, “Not so different from work.”

James shakes his head, “Much different. Your hair is down. I’ve always preferred it down.”

John doesn’t blush but he does duck his head. He grabs his keys from the side table and they head for the elevator. Their shoulders brush as they wait and James can’t stop himself from stealing glances at John. When John finally notices, he asks, “What?”

“I can’t stop thinking about kissing you.”

Before John can answer the elevator dings and the doors open. As soon as the doors close behind them John shoves James against the wall, “It's not just you.”

He covers James’s mouth with his, licks behind his teeth, strokes over his tongue and James feels like he’s being assaulted in the best way possible. He pulls John in by the hips, hands moving down, gripping John’s ass in his palms. He squeezes hard once, before lifting one hand and bringing it down sharply. John pulls back on a gasp, “Don’t make me hard, you’ll ruin the line of these pants.”

“Hmm, then I suggest you keep yourself from getting hard.” James grins as he shoves a leg between both of John’s and presses up. John’s head drops to his shoulder as he moans. 

John is saved by the slowing of the elevator as they reach the ground floor. When they reach James’s car he reaches into the back and pulls out a brown paper bag. Once John is settled into his seat he hands it over. James turns on the interior lights and John just raises his eyebrow before opening the bag. He sits there for several second before turning his head to James, “Are you fucking kidding me?” He carefully pulls out a bobble-head. “Where the fuck did you find this?”

“I remember you talking about looking for one a few years ago. Last time I was at your condo I noticed you still didn’t have it and I just happened to run across it.”

“You just happen to run across a 1962 Vintage Chicago White Sox bobble-head? Out of the blue? I don’t believe that for one fucking second.” He carefully puts it back in the bag and sets it between his feet before pulling James into a soft kiss, “Thank you.”

James feels his face heat. He clears his throat and says, “Shall we?”

John just nods. James keeps both hands on the wheel as he weaves through downtown traffic. Every time his eyes cut over to John in the passenger seat his stomach flutters. When John catches him they grin at each other like idiots and James can’t help but shake his head at himself. He’s so fucking gone for John, he'd feel like a fool but for the fact that John’s wearing the same goofy smile every time their eyes meet. James makes the last left and they pull up at the valet in front of Alinea. John turns to gape at him.

“What?”

“You got a reservation here in two days’ time?”

James shrugs, “It pays to know people.”

The valet stand for Aliena is across the street from the entrance of the restaurant, and while they’re waiting for the light to turn, James slips his hand into John’s and tangles their fingers together. Out of the corner of his eye James sees the pleased smile that steals over John’s face. 

Once inside, they’re directed to the bar to wait until dinner seating begins. They both order scotch, neat, and then proceed to stare at each other nervously. James can’t remember the last time he was at a loss for words. He also can’t remember a time when a date meant so much. James steps closer and brushes his fingers over the back of John’s hand.

“I don’t think I’ve ever been this nervous before.”

John laughs lightly and shakes his head, “Me either.”

And like that, the tension is broken and they’re once again back on even ground. John watches him from under his lashes, it's the coyest move he’s ever made and it makes James’s stomach flip over. He hasn’t been on a date in more years than he can count and none of them had been half as important as this one. John continues to slide closer until their hands are brushing. James has no idea what they’re talking about, he’s just nodding and smiling because he’s completely engrossed in the deep blue of John’s eyes. John bites the corner of his lip when James’s knee rubs along the outside of his. Every move, every look, is flirtatious and James feels like he’s sixteen again as the butterflies in his stomach multiply. Before they know it they’re being led to their table.

Dinner is a three hour and eighteen course affair, during which they manage to kill two bottles of wine, allowing James to press his leg up against John’s and ask, “How did you end up at _Game On_?”

John waits until their server has left before answering, “A few years ago, when we were going through that bullshit with Captiva and the lawsuit, I needed an outlet, I asked a friend for a referral.”

“You know that’s not really what I was asking.” James says before taking the last bite from his plate and laying his fork aside. 

John takes a drink of wine, watching James’s tongue snake out to catch the last bit of flavor off his lips, before speaking, “When I was twenty four I met a guy who was pretty heavily into the scene, he asked me if I’d be interested in playing. I was hooked from the start. He’s the one who taught me.”

Before James can ask another question their next course is set in front of them. James waits for several seconds before he asks, “When you approached me, did you already know who I was?”

John shakes his head, “No. I approached you because you’re built like, well, _you_. I’ve been attracted to you from the start. I hit on you at Stacey’s party thinking you felt the same, but when you didn’t respond I thought I’d gotten it wrong. I figured you weren’t interested, so I backed off. I really did think you were going to fire me that day you asked me to your office.”

James laughs because John couldn’t be further from the truth, James leans forward, elbows on the table, after a quick look around he says, “I spaced out during your interview because I was thinking about sucking your cock.”

John nearly chokes on his wine and his eyebrows almost touch his hairline. “Then why?”

James settles back into his chair, “You’re an asset to Flint Group. I didn’t want to risk that. And then you told me that Stacey’s party was a fluke and I figured you weren’t interested either.”

“So then why did you end up at _Game On_?”

Their last course is delivered with a flourish and it keeps James from answering for a few long minutes. 

“It had been my dungeon years ago. I’d left because I no longer needed it. And then I hired you, and you blew my well ordered life right to hell.” John smiles at him wolfishly but says nothing. 

After they finish the last course, people begin filing out of the restaurant. James guides John through the crowd with a hand on his back. Once they reach the door he again takes John’s hand as they walk across the street and wait at the valet stand. 

John spends the ride back to his condo with his hand on James’s thigh. His fingers stroke the inside seam of James’s pants and James has to tighten his hands on the steering wheel to keep from grabbing John’s hand and putting it over his hardening cock. John leans back on the head rest and turns to look at James. He has his bottom lip pulled into his mouth and James can see how huge his pupils are every time they pass under a street lamp, his cheeks are flushed, and James wants him so badly he can barely keeps his eyes on the road ahead of him.

At a stop light John threads his hand into James’s hair and pulls him in for a kiss. John tastes like expensive wine and a hint of the mint that had flavored their dessert course. James moans as John’s teeth scrape over his bottom lip when he pulls back. 

When James parks in the garage of John’s building they sit silently until James gets out and goes around to open John’s door.

“Do you want to come up?” John leans back against the passenger door, hands in his pockets.

James steps close, just a inch between them, “Do you want me to come up?”

John nods his head and then tilts his face up. James takes his mouth and John moans into the kiss, his hands clutching at the front of James’s shirt to pull him closer. The kiss is hard and wet and demanding. One of John’s hands slides into his hair and James’s knees threaten to give at the scrape of John’s nails on his scalp. John tugs and James’s head goes back breaking the kiss.

His tongue trails down James’s neck, teeth catching. James shivers as his blood turns to fire. John licks across his throat, bites his earlobe before whispering, “I want to fuck you.”

James can only nod, speechless with how much he wants the same thing. John links their fingers and leads James into the building. It’s their only point of contact until John’s bedroom door is closed behind them and then John is on him, mouth practically attacking James’s as his hands make quick work of James’s clothes.

He lays James out on the bed and sucks his cock down in a single go. James can’t help but shout at the ceiling, John’s mouth is hot and tight and so fucking good. He threads his fingers into John’s hair, holds his head still as James fucks up into his throat. 

John breaks free, fingers circling James’s wrists as he places them flat on the bed. He straddles James’s hips and let's James’s cock rub against the crease of his ass more than likely ruining a five hundred dollar pair of suit pants. James pushes up against him, hands grasping John’s hips, the moan that breaks free sounds like he’s dying. 

With no warning John flips him to his stomach, “Stay there.” 

James doesn’t argue, he just scoots further up the bed and spreads his legs. He hears the choked noise John lets loose and James doesn’t try to hide his smile. He hears John disrobing behind him and then John is hovering over him. He can feel the heat of John’s skin, the tickle of his hair as it brushes lightly against his back. 

John bites and licks his way across James’s shoulders, nips at the back of his neck, his breath making James shiver. He runs his tongue down James’s spine, teeth catching at the arch in the small of his back before biting each ass cheek. John’s breath ghosts over James’s legs as he says, “I love your thighs. So strong and thick with muscle.” He nips down the center of James’s thigh, licks behind his knees before working his way back up. James tries not to squirm at how good it feels, tries to stay still the way he knows John wants him to.

He feels John spread him open and then John’s tongue slides across him and James whines low in the back of his throat as his hips shift. James shudders, his nerves raw as he feels the touch of John’s tongue like a shock.

John’s tongue is soft and wet and seeking. He rubs over James’s hole with just the tip, back and forth until James thinks he’ll go mad with the sensation. His body jumps with every touch, each one a delicious zing down his spine. Swirling tongue, grazing teeth, and John’s soft wet lips leave him a writhing, wet, and sloppy mess.

John’s fingers dig into James’s ass, pull him wide, tongue licking inside, and fuck, the way it feels, the slick muscle of John’s tongue thrusting short and sure, has James close to whimpering. The dull ache of John’s fingertips holding him open is a direct contrast to the searing pleasure of his tongue. James tries to spread his legs wider, body begging for it. John moans around him and James can feel it all the way up his spine, spiking into his brain, making heat rush through him. 

He hears the snick of a cap and then there’s cool liquid sliding down his crack, over his balls, and John’s finger is suddenly there rubbing over him softly, slowly, before breaching him. James hisses, stomach contracting, fluttering, sending sparks directly to his cock. John’s slow and careful, mindful that James hasn’t been with anyone this way in a very long time.

James’s body jolts when he feels wet breath against him immediately followed by John’s tongue licking around his finger and he can’t stop the ragged, “Please,” that escapes him. His hips jerk back and then forward, his cock sliding through his own slick where it's pressed to the bed. He rolls his hips helplessly, reaching for his cock but then forcing his hand back to the bed, curling his fingers in the sheets.

John slides another finger in, pulls back just slightly and says, “Fuck yourself.”

James’s answer is a garbled moan and the snap of his hips forward and then back. He feels John touching everywhere inside him, feels John’s fingers opening and spreading him apart, feels the way John’s fingers catch at his rim, the way he changes the angle and hits James just right making him cry out. 

His gasping breaths are loud and shaky, and he can’t stop moving in the rhythm John is using to stroke inside him. He works himself back and forth, the sharp sting of John adding another finger only lasting seconds before his hips are canting and pushing. He gets his arms under him, fucks his hips back, the sweet pressure of John’s fingertips hitting _right fucking there_ as he rides wave after wave of pleasure. 

“Jesus, James, the way you look.” And then John just gives it to him, hard and fast and dirty, fingers making wet obscene noises as they slide in out of James’s ass.

John pulls back and James feels the blunt pressure of bigger and more. He breathes deep, willing himself to relax, and then John’s sliding home easier than James would have thought. It’s tight but smooth, one long, slow stroke, the fit perfect, like he belongs there. James holds still feeling impossibly split open, but god it’s so good. He looks down to his cock, hard and red and so wet he’s dripping onto the bed. James feels full, so fucking full. John is big and thick inside him, a perfectly tight fit that James is already addicted to. 

John still hasn’t moved, his hands grip James’s hips tight and James can feel the tell tale little twitches of John’s cock, thinks John’s trying to hold back his orgasm. James smiles, shifts his hips, arches his back. He gets a helpless little choked off groan from John, the fingers on his hips squeezing hard. John lowers him flat, his chest pressed tight to James’s back, his hands seeking James’s where they’re tangled in the sheets. He twines their fingers together and waits for their breaths to sync and then John moves.

The first slide is slow and sweet and James can feel it all, feels every fucking inch, blazing hot and so deep he wants to sob with it. Half a dozen strokes and James is lost in the feeling of John’s cock rocking in and out, the burn and stretch of it lighting him up. Every thrust more exquisite than the last, ripping the air from his lungs as John shoves forward and back.

John rears up, pulls at James’s hips until James gets to his hands, John’s arm goes around his belly, tilting James’s hips up, changing the angle he fucks in with fast, short strokes. He can hear John breathing harshly behind him mingled with soft little grunts as he pushes against James harder. John leans into him, bodies locked together, the drag of skin on skin making him shiver. James is breathing in hard, short choppy breaths as John’s mouth latches onto the back of his neck. He sucks hard, a sharp sting of teeth at the end.

His cock is practically vibrating with need, pleasure spreading out through his limbs, singing in his veins. He pushes back against John, cock throbbing in time with his heartbeat. John slows down and James wants to shout in frustration. John’s hands tighten on his hips as he pushes all the way in. He grinds forward, cock head pressing directly against that spot that make James see stars. 

John sits back, pulls James with him, spreads James’s legs over his thighs. John sinks further inside making James moan. He’s so fucking deep, cock pressing in perfectly. 

“Ride me.” It's whispered so softly that at first James isn’t sure he heard him until John rolls his hips up once, cock grinding deep and so fucking good James feels his eyes roll up. 

James starts a slow rhythm, body undulating on top of John’s as John leans back, arms behind him for support. James plants his hands on John’s thighs and starts lifting his ass in shallow strokes. John hums behind him, one hand stroking down his spine, then the sudden bite of fingernails before, “Faster.”

James bounces himself on John’s lap. James hadn’t realized until this exact minute just how hungry he’d been for this. He hadn’t known how much he’d needed John to take him over, how much he’d needed John’s hands and mouth on his body, taking him apart, making him feel it all the way to his bones. He hadn’t realized how desperate he’d been to feel John inside him, thick and heavy and so fucking deep. He wraps one hand loosely around his cock, the slick head sliding against his palm, getting harder with each stroke. “Yeah, come on. So fucking gorgeous the way you take my cock.”

The pressure is building quickly, screaming up from between his legs, into his stomach, his whole body slick with sweat as he rides John fast and hard. It's like a bolt of lightening down his spine when it happens. He feels it all the way to the bottoms of his feet, feels his whole body starts to quiver, and he can’t keep in the shout of John’s name. His cock pulses hard, one shot after another as he struggles to stay upright. He feels like he’s been turned inside out, a single drop of sweat falls from his nose as he breathes hard, his cock tingling and relief sweeping through him, sweet and satisfying.

John pushes him forward, lays out over him and fucks James deep and fast, cock sliding hard into already sensitive flesh. James can only cant his hips back, already boneless and half unconscious. 

He knows the second John starts to come, he shoves deep, soft growl of James’s names, sharp bite to James’s shoulder and the hot pulse of John’s cock in his ass. He clamps down and John moans, hips stuttering forward. The way John’s cock feels in his ass, the slide getting slicker and easier as John continues to empty himself in James’s body makes James’s cock twitch against the bed. John pulls out slowly and collapses next to James. He should probably be more bothered by the come that’s slowly trickling out of his ass and running down his balls but he can’t seem to muster the strength to care. 

John’s on his side, watching James’s face as he runs his fingers through James’s hair. James just hums at the touch, more asleep than awake, he feels himself blinking slowly at John. John peppers his face with soft kisses. He pulls James’s body to his until James is on his side facing John. John draws him in, thumb stroking against the side of James’s face as he kisses him. It’s the sweetest kiss James has ever experienced, building from just a small peck to the press and pull of lips until John’s tongue is softly sliding into James’s mouth with wide sweeping strokes. James feels himself release a contented sigh against John’s lips. When John pulls back he’s smiling, eyes crinkling.

There are so many things he wants to say to John. So many things he needs to tell him, but what he sees in John’s eyes has him realizing that it can wait. What he sees tells him he’s not alone, that John feels this just as deeply as James does. For now he just pulls John to his side and buries his face in John’s hair before falling asleep.


End file.
